


Rising Suns

by starryreys



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Ahsoka - E. K. Johnston, Star Wars: Rebels, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fix-It, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Battle of Endor (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: Rebels, if mr. dave filioni won't give us the rebels sequel series then i'll write it mySELF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:21:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27406468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryreys/pseuds/starryreys
Summary: Ezra sometimes wonders how much of Ahsoka’s story he’s actually pieced together. Bits and pieces from the things he’s seen, from the stories Kanan had told him. Ahsoka and her master seemed to be equal parts legend and the subject of infamy in the temple. It was hard to join that wild rebellious Padawan he’d heard about with the serene, almost closed off Jedi in front of him.---Ahsoka and Ezra, rebuilding from the embers.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Ahsoka Tano, Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger & Sabine Wren, Space Family (Star Wars Rebels)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 112





	1. Rising Suns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Without darkness there cannot be light." (The Clone Wars - The Wrong Jedi)_

Ezra jerks awake, Kanan’s name ripping from his throat. His hand unconsciously reaches out to grasp at the echoes of his master that are slowly fading with his dream. He’s disoriented for a second, looking wildly around the dark room trying to place himself correctly in time and space, trying to remember where he is. It comes back in pieces, Sabine-Ahsoka-the portals-

Right. The portals. 

He groans and presses his hands into the floor trying to push himself into a sitting position. His shoulder protests the movement with a flare of pain. He must have fallen out of his bunk while he was dreaming. The room spins briefly as he sits up and he wonders if maybe he hit his head too. Or maybe not. He hasn’t felt quite right since Sabine and Ahsoka rescued him from that world between worlds. 

Well he had been trying not to think about it anyway. About how long he’d been lost away in the place between space, in the place where time doesn’t exist. About how sometimes his mind still thinks he’s trapped there. 

Not thinking about it. Right. 

He can feel his heart rate climbing dangerously and drops his head between his legs before the dizziness can bring him back to the floor. He breathes slowly through his nose and listens to the quiet humming of Ahsoka’s ship, trying to steady himself, to anchor himself in the present, but the memories come flooding back before he can stop them.

_“I know I can always count on you.”_

_“All right, what are you up to?”_

_He couldn’t answer, couldn’t tell her about the vision he’d had of the terrible things that were to pass if he didn’t stop them._

_He’d seen himself about to take out Thrawn, about to free Lothal for good. But just before he could, Thrawn would be pulled through a portal, just as Ezra had done with Ahsoka, by a team of what remained of the Inquisitors-a highly specialized group who had trained for years to be able to open and close the portals. A team that would finally succeed at opening one just in time to prevent Thrawn’s death._

_But that wasn’t even the worst part of the vision._

_He’d seen that Thrawn was just the test run. He’d seen the Emperor falling, falling down an immeasurable height to his death, only to be pulled through a portal at the last moment by the Inquisitors, resurrected with the total ability to control time, to control life and death with the portals._

_How could he tell Sabine he’d seen the end of everything? How could he tell her he was the only one who could stop it, the only Jedi in existence who knew how to open and close the portals?_

_How could he tell her that he would have to leave her and the rest of his family in order to save them?_

_He couldn’t._

_He could only leave her with a pleading look and a coded message, before flying off with the Purgil. They had known to take him there of course, to that world between worlds, that space between spaces. The only place he could lock Thrawn away forever, trapping him between two portals and closing them both._

_He’d wished endlessly that he could come home after Thrawn had been dealt with, wished that someone else could have stopped the Emperor besides him. But that wasn’t his path. He’d remembered Ahsoka’s words._

_‘Kanan found the moment where he was needed most and he did what he had to do for everyone.’_

Kanan. The memory pulls him back to the present, to the dim red lights filling the dark room with a hazy glow and the cool metal floor beneath his fingertips. To the place that’s come to be, not quite home to him, but something reminiscent of a home-something close to it. Ahsoka’s ship is nothing like the Ghost but he’s spent enough time on it for it to have a comfortable familiarity. 

He rests his forehead on his knees. He doesn’t like to remember his time in the world between the worlds, as Ahsoka had called it. He’d spent years there, sealing off the portals one by one. Alone. It haunts his nightmares, the vast and dark emptiness of that nonexistent space, the lost time. 

But it’s not the only thing that haunts his nightmares. Not tonight anyway.

He’s use to dreaming about Kanan’s death, of the heat of the flames and the smoke burning his lungs. Kanan’s eyes as he pushed the ship away towards the sky. Sometimes he even dreams of when he saw Kanan’s death a second time, his life just out of Ezra’s grasp. 

But his nightmare hadn’t been about Kanan’s death this time-it had been about his _life._

He’d dreamed about meditating with Kanan, dreamed about how Kanan would tousle his hair to annoy him, and that one time Ezra had gotten sick and Kanan had cooked him the Galaxy’s worst tasting topato stew.

In spite of his racing heart, he almost smiles. For a second as he remembers, he can almost forget that Kanan isn’t here. He can almost pretend that Kanan’s going to walk through the door like he used to when he could sense Ezra having a nightmare, and Ezra would feel the inexplicable and irrational notion that everything was going to be okay. He suddenly feels a keen pain in his chest and a prickling sensation in his eyes. The loss of Kanan washes over him without warning, the memory strangling him until he feels like he can’t breathe again, and he drops his head back down between his legs. It’s been years (he thinks, he can’t quite figure out how long he was gone) but the grief feels as immediate and near as it did when he watched the flames from the ship, pulling Hera desperately away from the door...away from Kanan.

He scrubs a hand over his face and pulls himself to his knees, trying to catch his breath. It’s then that he notices the shadow in front of him, and the dim light flooding in from the ship’s hallway. He looks up to find Ahsoka standing over him, her expression troubled. He didn’t hear her come in. Ahsoka can move quietly as a Loth-mouse when she wants to, he’s jumped out of his skin more than once as she’s caught him by surprise. He ducks his head, avoiding her eye as he tries to gather himself together. “Hi.” He says lamely, his voice still rough.

She doesn’t say anything for a second, and he risks a look up at her. She’s staring down at him with that same look in her eyes that Kanan used to give him sometimes, the one that makes him think she’s looking right into him. “You were having a nightmare,” she says finally.

“Yeah, I got that Ahsoka thanks.” He’s always liked Ahsoka a lot, but he’d never quite figured the strange Jedi out. But as she slowly sits down, kneeling in front of him, and looking at him patiently he realizes it wasn’t a statement, but an invitation. 

His throat suddenly closes up at the gentle gesture. 

_“I promised I’d come find you,” Ahsoka had said after she’d pulled him out of the last portal just before he shut it, saving him from being trapped within that empty space forever. Sabine had figured out his message of course, clever, determined Sabine. He had had to be cryptic, he knew the Emperor's inquisitors could be looking back at him through time through the portals, that if they figured out where he was, what he was doing, it would mean the end of everything._

_But Sabine had to leave shortly after they’d found him. She had told him how she’d been working underground to transport survivors of the Great Purge, helping them relocate in secrecy. “I set up my base on Lothal, where the old Jedi temple used to be actually. I guess that was kind of in honor of you,” she’d said, her cheeks coloring slightly before she shook it off with a shrug. “It made sense, we already had experience setting up base on Lothal before, and since we’d forced the Empire out, I figured I could multitask. Protect your home and organize the relocation of my people.”_

_He’d thrown his arms around her, “Thank you, Sabine. For everything.”_

_She’d rolled her eyes and patted him lightly on the back, “It’s good to have you back, Ezra.” And if her voice broke a little when she said it, Ezra pretended not to notice._

_But there were still Mandalorians out there, struggling to survive, struggling to rebuild their culture, their people. And Sabine was worried, Ezra knew. She’d never said a word but he could see it in her eyes sometimes, as she looked up at the stars at night._

_“You should go, Sabine.”_

_“Ezra-”_

_“I’ll come when I can.” His time away had left him weak, in no condition to travel. “But your people need your help more than I do now.”_

_“Ezra…”_

_“And anyway I’ve got Ahsoka to look after me.” Ezra nodded to Ahsoka with a small smile. Ahsoka returned it, “I promise I’ll bring him straight to you once he’s strong enough, Sabine Wren.”_

_Sabine had inhaled sharply, looking from Ezra to Ahsoka, her eyes pained._

_She’d left that night, the same pained look in her eyes as she boarded her ship. But her shoulders were set in a familiar way, the sort of determination that Ezra always admired. He smiled at her, “I owe you one, Sabine,” he didn’t trust himself to say anything else._

_She punched him gently on the shoulder, “Yeah, you do.” There was a moment of quiet between them, then- “Ezra, Hera and Zeb...they should know you’re back. You should send them a transmission.”_

_“I will.” It was a lie and Sabine knew it, but Sabine also knew him and so she didn’t ask._

_Ahsoka gently gripped his shoulder and helped him walk back to the ship, as Sabine flew away into the night._

He sits quietly in front of Ahsoka for a few minutes, remembering that night, remembering all the nights that came after, and the quiet days on the ship with Ahsoka. They’d never talked much as she helped him heal, and Ezra knew that this was due to Ahsoka’s seemingly endless patience, and not her aversion to speaking with him. Kanan would have preferred to rip the bandage off fast. _“Wounds heal faster the sooner we deal with them,” he’d said, as he’d cornered Ezra in his room and gently forced him to talk about their most recent encounter with the Inquisitors._

The memory pulls a small smile out of him and he feels unwound enough to look up at Ahsoka, who’s waiting as patiently as ever, her eyes closed in what he thinks is meditation. He does want to talk, to lift some of the burden he’s been feeling off his shoulders and into Ahsoka’s capable hands. But he doesn’t even know where to begin. 

As he ponders this, he inexplicably starts to feel his fear and pain slowly ebbing away, like poison being drawn from a wound. He gives Ahsoka, whose eyes are still closed in meditation, a wry look. She opens one eye and returns his look with a sly smile, before closing her eyes again. It becomes clearer to think, to untangle the knots in his head. He opens his mouth, intending to tell Ahsoka about his time away, about the crushing dark and loneliness he still feels sometimes when he closes his eyes. Instead what suddenly comes rushing out is- 

“I keep reaching out in the force for him.” It’s not what he meant to say, and he falters for a second. Ahsoka opens her eyes and looks intently at him, but it’s too late for him to stop the words now that they’re all tumbling out. “I keep thinking if I just reach out far enough he’ll be there.”

Ahsoka is quiet and he can’t bring himself to look at her. He wraps one arm around his sore shoulder and gazes at the ground instead. He was alone for longer than anyone should be alone he knows that. When it got too much to bear he would reach out, searching unintentionally for his fallen master, for the familiar presence that Kanan’s memory would bring. Once or twice this would draw him to a portal from his own past, and he would stand there, eyes burning with unshed tears as he watched Kanan. He never saw anything important just...Kanan _alive._

His thoughts are broken by a sudden and foreign feeling in the force in the space between him and Ahsoka, a wave of grief and pain so strong, he momentarily forgets his own. He looks up at her, startled, but it’s gone in a second, shielded from him, and her face holds the calm, pensive expression it always does. “I understand,” is all she says.

He sometimes wonders how much of Ahsoka’s story he’s actually pieced together. Bits and pieces from the things he’s seen, from the stories Kanan had told him. Ahsoka and her master seemed to be equal parts legend and the subject of infamy in the temple. It was hard to join that wild rebellious Padawan he’d heard about with the serene, almost closed off Jedi in front of him. But he’d heard enough on Malachor to know the basics of what had happened to her. He doesn’t know what to say except- 

“I know you do.” 

She gives him a gentle smile. “It’s a difficult thing,” Ahsoka says quietly, “To lose a master.”

“It feels-it just feels-” 

“Like you’ll never feel quite whole again?” 

“I-yeah.” Ezra swallows, “I thought I was getting better Ahsoka. I thought I was healing.” 

He’s not just talking about his time in the world between worlds but Ahsoka seems to understand, as she always does. She reaches out and gently puts a hand on Ezra’s uninjured shoulder. “Your physical healing is complete. The mind is a little bit trickier.”

Ezra looks away, suddenly not wanting to remember anymore, “So...I guess I should get off this little planet now shouldn’t I? Go find Sabine?” 

“I think that would be a wise decision.” 

“I was getting tired of this place anyway.” Ezra turns his gaze out the small circular window to the just visible desert sands below the dark horizon. “I thought the holocrons bringing me here the first time was just a mistake, a fluke. Now I know why.” 

That’s how Ahsoka had known where to find him, where the final portal would be. Sabine had told her about the holocrons guiding him to this planet all those years ago and she’d surmised the reason the force had been leading him here all this time. They’d gotten here just in time too. Ezra suppresses a shudder thinking about the eternity locked away in that empty space that would have been his fate if they hadn’t.

“Yes, it’s no accident that you ended up here, on Tatooine after escaping that world. This planet has a-a history of powerful force users. Of the light and the dark. In that world between worlds its fate is a shatterpoint.”

It seems to Ezra that there’s more she’s not saying, but he can’t tell. With Ahsoka it always feels like maybe she knows a little more than she’s telling you. It was always strangely comforting, a little like the illusion of the shelter of a parent’s arms, just being able to let go for a few moments and trust that someone else has it handled.

It always made him a little sad too, the burdens Ahsoka had to bear on her own. 

He wonders if that’s her plan now, to go off on her own again. The thought startles him and he’s seized by an unexpected sense of loss. Ahsoka’s presence in his life had always been transient, temporary.

“Ahsoka,” he starts tentatively. He tries to keep his voice collected, if leaving is what she wants, he doesn’t want to say anything that might hold her back. “What are you going to do now?”

Her eyes search his for a moment. “What do you want, Ezra?” 

The lie is on the tip of his tongue, the one where he tells her that he’s okay, that he doesn’t want her to stay, that he’s always been fine on his own. He looks back out again at the endless desert sands. Light is starting to creep up just beyond the horizon.

_What you need, you already have. Unfortunately, you seem to be letting it all go._

It’s an old lie, and he’d learned to stop telling himself that a long time ago. No one is better on their own. He’d be there for Ahsoka, if she wanted him to be.

“I’ll go with you wherever you go, if you’d like me to.” 

He can feel Ahsoka’s surprise in the force, and something else too. He recognizes it because it’s a familiar feeling to him. The old ache of loss that’s mingled with the happiness and joy of something new. 

“Yes,” Ahsoka says slowly, looking at him with a sudden intensity. “I don’t know what the future holds for either of us, but I won’t leave you, Ezra Bridger.” 

He feels something click into place inside him at her words. Like two puzzle pieces that weren’t supposed to fit together but did anyway settling into place in the force. He’s not sure how long they sit together quietly, as the suns start to rise, spilling their golden light into the ship. But he feels a sense of peace he hasn’t felt in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! This chapter is mostly exposition, but there's more plot to come! I just really needed Ezra and Ahsoka healing each other's hearts and coming together as a sort of unintentional Master and Padawan and if Dave won't give it to me I will write it into existence.


	2. Master and Padawan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"When we rescue others, we rescue ourselves." (The Clone Wars – Bound for Rescue)_

They fly to Lothal the next day.

He’s hit full force by Sabine as he steps off the ship. “Ezra, you’re here!” she cries, throwing her arms around him in an unusually affectionate gesture. 

“You didn’t doubt my word, did you Sabine Wren?” Ahsoka steps off behind him and smiles at Sabine who untangles herself from Ezra, but keeps her hands on his shoulders, studying him.

“Your word, never,” Sabine gives Ahsoka a wry smile, “Ezra’s word however…”

“Hey! I’m here aren’t I?” 

“Yeah you are,” Sabine grins at him before her smile falters the tiniest bit. “You look better.”

Ezra almost laughs at that. He’d caught his reflection in the ship’s windows on the journey over. He’d seen the deep purple crescent moons under his eyes, the hollow circles of his cheeks. If he looked good to Sabine now, he wonders what he must have looked like before, weeks ago. What he must have looked like when they’d pulled him out of the portals. Suddenly he doesn’t feel like laughing anymore.

Sabine seems to sense his unease. Her hand on his shoulder jostles him ever so slightly, a gentle nudge that takes him back to the present. “I feel better,” he says, and it’s not completely a lie. “Ahsoka’s a good healer.”

“I know,” Sabine looks over Ezra’s shoulder and throws Ahsoka a smile. “She patched me up everytime we got into a scrape while looking for you.” 

“You two only think I’m capable because you have no other Jedi healers to compare me to.” 

Ezra chuckles and gazes out at the familiar sunlit grassy plains, and the tents and small structures in the distance that make up Sabine’s Mandalorian base. “It’s nice to be back,” he says with a half smile. “Thanks for keeping this place safe, Sabine.” 

“Well Lothal’s important to me too, besides using it as a base.” Sabine’s lips quirk up into a smirk, “It’s where we found a certain scrappy little loth-rat.” 

“You know what, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Speaking of which,” Sabine is suddenly serious again, “Ezra, did you get a chance to talk to Hera and-” 

He shakes out of her grasp, his chest feeling suddenly tight. “Hey, you changed your color again,” he deflects, reaching up to touch the blue and purple streaks that weave through Sabine’s hair. 

Sabine isn’t fooled for a second, he could never get anything past her.

“Ezra,” she says firmly, closing her fingers around his wrist, “why are you afraid to-”

But he can’t have this conversation right now. He shoves her hand off playfully, “Well come on,” he says, lightly punching her arm, “I want to see the fancy Mandalorian base you’ve got set up here.” He pretends like he can’t see the knowing look that passes between Sabine and Ahsoka as he walks toward the former Jedi Temple. 

* * *

Ahsoka finds Ezra out under the stars one night, meditating. He offers a feeble “I wasn’t tired” in response to the shrewd look Ahsoka gives him, but she doesn’t call him out or make him talk about his nightmare. She just asks him gently if he’d like to come back on the ship and have a cup of tea with her. 

“Don’t tell Sabine,” he says sheepishly, as he wraps his fingers around the warm mug of tarine tea, “I know she worries and I don’t want her to.” He stares out the window towards Sabine’s camp. “She’s got enough on her mind.” 

Ahsoka makes a small noise of agreement, “You two are quite a pair.” 

“She’s been doing okay though, all things considered.”

“Mandalorians are a sturdy people.”

They sip their tea quietly as Ezra reflects on Ahsoka’s words. Sabine had told him that one of her favorite things about traveling with Ahsoka was getting to hear her stories about her encounters on Mandalore, about what it had been like in the old days before the war. It occurs to Ezra then, how much history he’s only heard about through story that Ahsoka was there first hand for.

“Did you know many Mandalorians, back when you were with the Order?” he asks suddenly. “Weren’t Jedi and Mandalorians some sort of enemies back then?” It had always been something of a joke between Sabine and Kanan, though looking at how differently both of them approached conflict he could easily understand why the two groups might not have gotten along.

“It’s a complicated history, yes,” Ahsoka smiles, “but I certainly came to respect many of them. Sabine tells me you both met Bo-Katan. She and I made a pretty good team during the Siege of Mandalore.”

“You fought in the Siege of Mandalore?” Ezra asks, stunned. “Sabine used to talk about it, her mother was there too.” 

“I fought Maul,” Ahsoka replies slowly, putting her cup down. “I didn’t fight many Mandalorians.” 

“That’s how you knew Maul!” Ezra exclaims. He can’t believe he never asked her. “How come you were there, were there other Jedi fighting too?” His curiosity is piqued for the first time in a long time. He’s overcome with a sudden desire to learn, to understand-not just Maul, but the Jedi too. Sabine had always relied on the culture and history of the Mandalorians as a source of strength. The knowledge of who she is and what she stands for. He’d seen it when she’d picked up the Darksaber and faced her past with all the courage in the world. If Ahsoka could help him connect with the history of the Jedi, maybe it could untangle some of his own pain and confusion. He’s too caught up in his excitement to notice Ahsoka’s hesitation. 

She taps her fingers slowly on the table like she’s deep in thought. “That’s...quite a long story.” 

Suddenly, Ezra remembers exactly what had happened soon after the fight on Mandalore, what Kanan had told him about the fall of the Jedi. He puts his own cup down, chagrined. “I’m sorry Ahsoka, I didn’t mean to pry. You don’t have to talk about anything.”

Ahsoka’s fingers freeze in midair. She looks up at Ezra, her brows raised in surprise. “I didn’t mean to shut you down Ezra, I was telling you the truth when I said it was a very long story.” She smiles at him then looks back down at her tea, seeming to consider something. “But I suppose you’re right, it isn’t something I find easy to talk about.”

“Then you don’t have to talk,” Ezra says firmly. He knows well enough what it’s like to not want to talk about painful things. 

Ahsoka scrutinizes him, her mouth curving upwards into a hint of a smile. “You’re one of the few Jedi left in the galaxy, Ezra Bridger. You have a right to know the history of your people, and I have a duty to tell you no matter how difficult that task may be for me. And,” Ahsoka continues tentatively, “I think it would be helpful for me to talk about it with you.”

It’s times when Ahsoka says stuff like this to Ezra that he can see why Kanan spoke about her so reverently, why she was such a powerful Jedi. Not when she was fighting two Inquisitors at once with ease or holding her own against Sith Lords, though that did of course impress him to no end. But it’s the quiet wisdom and strength that he always admired, that he’d admired in Kanan too. 

“What did Kanan tell you about the Clone Wars?” Ahsoka asks quietly, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Not much. He didn’t like to talk about it.” And Ezra had been afraid to push, to ask Kanan to go into all the horrible details. “He...he told me about his master, Depa Billaba, though. About losing her.” 

“Yes,” Ahsoka says softly. “I’m sure that’s what he remembers the most. Kanan was young when it happened, though a capable Padawan already.” 

“Where-where were you when it happened? How did you get away?” Ezra whispers.

Ahsoka tells him. She tells him about becoming a Jedi Padawan and the months and years that came after. She tells him about the war, and the clones, and about the Jedi Order. She hesitates but then tells him about the bombing at the temple, about the trial and the expulsion, and about the day she walked away from the Jedi with only the clothes on her back.

At this, Ezra finds he can’t speak. He feels sick to his stomach, like knots twisting inside him.

“That’s...that’s awful,” he says. Kanan had told him that all he knew was Ahsoka left the Jedi order after she was unfairly accused of an attack. He had never guessed the depths of hurt and betrayal they had inflicted on her for some political game. He had always thought of the Jedi as good, as pure. How could he not, looking at Kanan, looking at Ahsoka. 

She seems to sense his unease, her brows pressing together as she considers him. “You have to understand, Ezra,” her voice has a pleading note in it that he’s never heard before, “the Emperor-Palpatine-he orchestrated the Clone Wars to be an impossible choice for the Jedi, a game they lost just by playing. Yes, they made many mistakes, mistakes that would give the dark side the power it sought. But, things aren’t always good or bad, light or dark. And at their core the Jedi were trying to do the right thing.”

“How can you just forgive them, though? After what they did to you?”

“I don’t know if I have, Ezra,” Ahsoka says quietly. “When I left, I had several encounters that taught me just how much damage the Jedi had done, not to me but to the people we were supposed to protect, how detached we had become from them. But I made my own mistakes too. I still wonder if leaving was the right thing.” 

“They didn’t give you a choice,” Ezra says fiercely.

“There’s always a choice.” Her voice is still gentle but there’s a sudden intensity in it and without knowing why, Ezra suddenly has the distinct impression that Ahsoka’s no longer talking about herself. 

But she goes on. She tells him about the siege, about the clones turning on the Jedi, and saving Rex but losing Maul. About the ship burning and falling, and the clones dying. Ezra’s grip on his cup becomes so strong he thinks he might shatter it. He notices though, that although she doesn’t spare Ezra any of the horrible details, someone important is noticeably missing. She rarely mentions her master, Anakin Skywalker. 

She does tell him about the sudden, wrenching loss in the force, the feeling of the Jedi being ripped from her one by one like threads torn from a tapestry, and the darkness and horror that clouded the force for months, for years afterwards. 

When she’s done talking, Ezra feels as though he’s aged years. “But some survived,” his voice sounds strangely faint, hollow. “Kanan did. You did.”

She doesn’t respond right away. She looks out the round ship window, where the stars are just starting to fade from the horizon, the purple dusty light spilling in from the east, opposite of where the twin moons are starting to set. When she speaks, it sounds like a confession.

“I survived because I left the Jedi.” 

Her face is calm, collected, and if Ezra hadn’t seen that familiar pain in Kanan’s eyes before, he might not have noticed the depth of agony and loss in Ahsoka’s.

He wonders what it cost for Ahsoka to tell him all of this, for her to bare her soul to him just so she could ease some of his own pain. He wonders how he can possibly explain to her how much it means to him that she’s here, that she’s alive when so many are gone. He takes a deep breath then scoots around the bench to sit closer to Ahsoka. He doesn’t have to search long for the words because he’d already found them once before. “Do you know what I told Kanan when he told me about Depa’s sacrifice? When he told me how guilty he felt for running? That I was grateful he ran away and didn’t die. Because it meant he was _here_ . And he saved a lot of people because of it.” _Including me,_ He doesn’t need to add. He knows Ahsoka will know. 

She does. He can see the pain ease ever so slightly in her eyes. Her smile is understanding, and a touch sad. “You’re very wise, Ezra Bridger.”

He wants to say more but Ahsoka suddenly says, “Do you want to know what Kanan was like as a Padawan?” She’s deflecting, Ezra knows, but he doesn’t push. 

“Oh, would I.”

“I didn’t know him well but he used to ask so many questions, questions that would frustrate the Masters because it would stump them. He was always good with a lightsaber but his talent was his persistence, his ability to never give up.”

Ezra grins. “Sounds like Kanan.” 

Ahsoka looks at him, a twinkle in her eye, “A trait, I think, that he passed onto you.”

Ezra can’t help the swell of pride in his heart. “What were you like?” He can't even picture what kind of Padawan could precede such a Jedi. “A better student than Kanan, I’d imagine.”

Ahsoka just laughs. “If being the Jedi Council’s absolute nightmare counts as a good student.” 

“Huh, Kanan had said you and your master were a bit...unconventional.”

“Oh, that’s one word to describe it.”

“But also that you helped an extraordinary amount of people.” 

Ahsoka’s whole face softens, and Ezra understands that this, at her core, is who Ahsoka Tano is. Someone who helps people. 

Before he can think better of it, Ezra hugs her. He wishes he had hugged Kanan more but he doesn’t like to think about that now. He can feel her surprise. She tenses before putting a careful arm around his shoulder. He risks a look up at her face which is confused but content, as if the hug is unfamiliar though not unwelcome. He wonders when the last time she hugged someone was. He’s never seen her hug anyone but Rex.

It makes him kind of sad.

He resolves to hug Ahsoka more often.

  
  


Before they both head back to sleep. Ahsoka stops and puts a hand on his shoulder, a gesture that has come to be comfortingly familiar to him. 

“Ezra,” she says quietly, “thank you.” 

* * *

No matter how many times Ezra watches Ahsoka train he’s never not awed. 

She stands in the middle of the wide sands of Lothal, her duel lightsabers flying through the air so fast that Ezra can barely make out their white light from the light reflecting off the sand below her. 

“You didn’t even break a sweat, did you?” he says, when she comes over to where he’s sitting. 

“Hm,” she says, replacing her sabers in her belt and sitting down next to him, “Maybe I should train harder.”

He grins at her, “Too bad we don’t have any more Sith Lords handy for you to fight.”

“Too bad,” she laughs.

He muses on that for a minute. Thinking back to when Ahsoka threw herself unhesitantly in front of the Emperor, when she saved him and Kanan on Malachor. 

_I need a lot more training._

He’d been joking of course. A heat of the moment-we’re all about to die-joke. But-

“Can you teach me?” He asks her so suddenly that the question surprises even himself.

“Teach you?” Ahsoka’s head turns sharply towards him. Her usual piercing gaze that always makes him feel like she’s reading him like an open book is turned inwards and he thinks that maybe she’s not seeing him at all. After a moment, her shoulders set and she looks back out towards the desert. 

“I’m not a Jedi. I’m in no position to teach you.” She looks at him from the corner of her eye, her lips pursed. “Besides, we’ve trained together before.”

She’s deflecting again but Ezra lets it go, “Yeah. Once. You took my kyber crystal, threw it into a field and then started swiping at me with your lightsaber.”

Ahsoka’s answering smile is mischievous. “I remember.” 

He feels her shift in the force, the sharpness and the rebuke softening into a gentle understanding. He can feel her lowering her defenses. “Ezra…” she inhales sharply and it sounds like she’s forcing the next words out through her teeth, “I don’t know how to be a Jedi. All I’ve ever been is a soldier.”

He wants to tell her that she’s more than that. That he knows in the very depths of his heart that Ahsoka Tano is the truest kind of Jedi there is out there. He can’t find the words. 

What he says instead is, “I guess I don’t really know what Jedi do when there’s not wars to fight either. Maybe I could start a loth-cat adoption business.”

Ahsoka laughs suddenly, a light surprised sound. She throws an arm over his shoulders. “Come on,” she says, her voice cheerful again, “Sabine’s got four new Mandalorians here that she’s trying to relocate. Maybe the four of them combined can give me a more rigorous workout.”

He doesn’t bring up training again, but he has a feeling the conversation isn’t over. 

* * *

Ezra soon realizes he’s not the only one with nightmares. 

He’s wandering around the ship, knowing sleep isn’t in the picture for him tonight when he feels it. Terror and grief so strong it almost brings him to his knees. He runs to her room on the ship, throws open the door with the force and finds her asleep, turning fitfully. 

“Ahsoka,” he whispers, giving her a little shake. She doesn’t wake up “Ahsoka!” He says more loudly. 

Her eyes fly open and her hand grasps at the saber attached to her waist belt. Ezra jumps back as the room fills with blinding white light. 

“Woah, Ahsoka,” Ezra says, holding his hands out in what he hopes is a non threatening gesture but not daring to step closer while she has the saber ignited. “It’s okay it’s just me.” 

Her eyes find his and he sees recognition in them and a flash of something else he can’t make out before the room is plunged back into darkness as her saber shuts off.

When she talks her voice is steady.

“I’m sorry Ezra,” she says quietly. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I-you didn’t. I couldn’t sleep either.”

“Are you alright?” She asks immediately. 

“You’re worrying about me right now?” Ahsoka doesn’t respond right away and Ezra quickly takes advantage of the silence. He gestures towards Ahsoka’s bunk. “Can I sit?” he asks, knowing that she’d never refuse him.

“Of course.” She scoots over to give him room.

“I’m sorry for asking you about training,” he says, plopping down next to her. “I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories.”

“You're not the one who should be apologizing, Ezra.”

He squints at her through the dark, trying to make out her expression. “But you still won’t train me, will you?”

“You don’t need training Ezra,” Ahsoka sighs, and he can hear her fidget uncomfortably. “If you had been a Padawan back at the Jedi Temple you’d be a Knight by now.”

He gives a brief laugh. “I can’t do half the stuff you can do Ahsoka, I can’t even do a quarter of it. Besides,” in the dark he can just make out her face that’s scrunched up in thought, “it’s like I told Kanan once, it’s not just the Jedi stuff I want to learn. I know there’s more you can teach me-about life and stuff.”

She stares at him, her eyes widen with surprise, before she breaks out into a small smile.

“You’re a very special person Ezra Bridger,” she says in a quiet voice.

Ezra takes a deep breath, Ahsoka’s words pushing him towards the conversation he doesn’t want to have, “When you were talking earlier today, about only having been a soldier, I just-I get it. When I was in the world between worlds,” he forcefully pushes down the familiar panic climbing in his throat at the memory, “at least I was doing something, you know? I had a purpose. But now, I don’t know.” 

Though he can barely see her in the darkness, he can feel in the force that his words have resonated, can sense the painful recognition.

“That’s what they never tell you about war,” Ahsoka says softly. “That when it’s done you’re left with everything you’ve lost and nothing to fight for anymore.” 

He sits quietly with that for a few moments, letting his eyes slowly adjust to the darkness of the room. The bareness of it reminds him of Kanan’s. He wonders if the lack of possessions was something they’d both held on to from their Jedi teachings, or if it was a quirk that came with being constantly on the run, having to be ready to pack up and leave at a moment’s notice. 

Maybe that’s why he and Ahsoka were still living on her ship instead of trying to put roots back down on Lothal. 

Maybe they could both use the distraction. 

“Look, maybe I’m wrong Ahsoka, but I think training could help give us both the sense of purpose we need.” His thoughts drift to Sabine, to how she found her post-war purpose in safeguarding the remnants of her people. “Maybe if you teach me what you know from when you were a Padawan at the temple, our purpose can be keeping those teachings alive.”

He can feel Ahsoka suddenly recoil at his words, both in the force and physically as she flinches away from him. His heart jumps to his throat. He’s never seen her do that before. “What, what is it, what did I say?” he gasps.

She collects herself in a second, moving swiftly back to her spot next to Ezra on the bunk. Her hands rest on her knees as she stares straight ahead in what Ezra can only describe as intense concentration. His hand reaches up to Ahsoka’s shoulder, until he thinks better of it and lets it fall back down to his side. He wants to say something to comfort her somehow, but he’s too startled and bewildered to think of anything. He can feel his heart pounding loudly in his chest and hopes she can’t hear it. 

A moment later, Ahsoka leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees, her movements slow and deliberate. She brings her head down and cradles it in her hands like she’s in pain. He wonders if she is. She’s shielded herself in the force again, he realizes with a twinge of unhappiness. 

“Ahsoka-”

“Oh, I’m sorry Ezra,” she says for the second time that night, sighing and lifting her head back up without looking at him. “You’re not wrong. On both counts. Maybe that’s the problem.”

He settles back into the bed, his heart rate slowing, “Is talking cryptically something that all powerful Jedi do?” he says, in what he hopes is a casual tone. “I never understood one word Master Yoda said to me when I met him either.” 

He thinks maybe she smiled, but he can’t tell.

She follows him in settling back into a more comfortable position, carefully leaning her back against the wall. “Your words just brought me back to my dream for a moment. You’re right Ezra, I do want to teach you. And you’re right that in doing so I would be passing on my own Jedi teachings.” Her voice is absent of any of the panic of two minutes ago. She talks quietly, almost pensively. “The Jedi council was wise and good and kept the balance for thousands of years. But they were also so wrong in so many ways.” 

Ezra shakes his head, “I’m still not following.”

“It’s hard to-I don’t want to-” she seems unable to get the words out but Ezra suddenly understands. He can almost hear Kanan’s voice in his head. _I don't want to dump you. I just wanted you to have the best teacher._

“You don’t trust yourself.” 

Ahsoka’s eyes widen the tiniest bit. “No, I guess I don’t.” 

He pushes himself up on the bed until he’s sitting up straighter, turning his body to face Ahsoka. “Look, Ahsoka, you and Kanan were both trained the same and Kanan turned out to be the best teacher. I know you might not believe it looking at my skills, but he was,” Ezra attempts a half hearted joke. Ahsoka doesn’t even give him one of her half lip quirked smiles that he’s so fond of. 

And without meaning to, in the split second her shields are down, Ezra can see what Ahsoka sees, can feel her thoughts reaching out towards him. _Not the same_ , it says. And a memory of Anakin Skywalker, the face he knows so well from the holocron recordings, flashes in his mind.

He wonders briefly if she meant for him to see it. 

“You’re afraid to teach me…” he says slowly, “because of what happened to your master?”

She doesn’t answer but from the look on her face he knows he’s hit home. 

“Kanan was afraid to teach me too,” he says tentatively. “He thought he had failed his master.”

Ahsoka shakes her head, her brows knitted. “He didn’t fail Depa. She died honorably. She would have been proud of the Jedi he became.”

“I’m sure Kanan would have said the same about you and Anakin.”

“He didn’t know Anakin,” she says softly.

“Well I know you.” Ezra says firmly. “And I know that you didn’t fail Anakin.” He understands then, why he couldn’t find the words for Ahsoka before. How could he possibly get her to forgive herself when he’s still trying to figure out how to do that? He thinks back to the moment they both realized they couldn’t save their masters, the moment they both let go. Kanan’s last lesson. “Failing him would have meant not letting him go **,** it would have meant letting the pain and loss you felt consume you. That’s not what you did, Ahsoka. You chose to take the best of what he taught you and use it to help people, even when it was hard. I know that you didn’t fail Anakin because,” he inhales then and he can feel something mend inside him, “I know I didn’t fail Kanan.” 

A torrent of emotion washes over Ahsoka’s face. 

She’s quiet for a very long time. 

“You have to understand Ezra, I’m no Jedi. I’m no Master.” She puts a hand on his shoulder. “But I will teach you what I know.”

Ezra gives her a small smile, “That’s all I’m asking.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I was a little nervous posting this because I feel like figuring out older Ezra and Ahsoka took a bit of work (Ezra would be what like in his early 20s, and Ahsoka her early 40s?) and it’s been a while since I’ve written anything so I’m really rusty, but all your kind comments and kudos on the first chapter really gave me the confidence to continue posting so thank you!!
> 
> (Also in case you haven’t seen any of the Forces of Destiny shorts, the ‘Ahsoka yeeting Ezra’s kyber crystal and then swiping at him with the lightsaber’ reference was from one of those episodes, it’s super wholesome if you want to watch!)


	3. Family Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“There’s two kinds of family,” Miara said after a moment. “There’s the kind like me and Kaeden, where you get born in the right place to the right people and you’re stuck with one another. If you’re lucky, it turns out okay. The other kind of family is the kind you find.”  
>  ― E.K. Johnston, Ahsoka _

Ezra’s resting against one of the large stone boulders that surround Sabine’s base, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face as the grass around him sways lazily in the wind. He’d missed the feeling of the sun when he’d been away. There was no warmth or cold there, there was just...nothing. He shudders and settles back against the stone, thinking maybe he’ll take a nap out here when Sabine suddenly appears from around the other side of the rock, grabbing him by the elbow. He squints up at her, raising a hand to block the sun from his eyes.

“Let’s spar,” she says, lifting him to his feet before he can even protest.

He shakes her hand off. “Sabine, I’m _tired_ ,” he complains. “Do you know what training with Ahsoka is like? I’d take Kanan making me do handstands all day a hundred times over and be grateful.” 

Sabine swats his arm. “Don’t be such a baby. Come on, spar with me, I’m bored.”

“Don’t you have Mandalorian relocation stuff to work on?”

“No.” She crosses her arms and turns away from him to look back to the base, her lips pursed. “I don’t actually. I’ve been able to get all the clans I could track down hidden underground. Ahsoka’s still helping me scout the galaxy for others, calling in favors from her old contacts but…” she trails off, looking lost in thought.

Ezra puts a hand on her shoulder. “You’ve saved everyone you could Sabine, that’s a _good_ thing. So come on and relax with me, sit in the sun for a while. What’s the point of fighting for an Empire free world if we can’t even sit and enjoy it a little?” 

Sabine turns to frown at him. He knows that look.

“Yeah, okay fine,” he sighs, “I’m coming, give me a minute.”

He stumbles back as Sabine lands a punch to his shoulder. He can tell it’s not her full strength, she’s taking it easy on him at least. Sabine’s always had him beat when it comes to sparring, even with his Jedi instinct in his favor.

“So, how are _you_ feeling Ezra?” she asks as she swings an arm at his head.

He ducks, just narrowly avoiding it. Great, he should have known. This isn’t just about him being target practice for Sabine, it’s a trap to get him to talk about his feelings. He bites back the temptation to tell Sabine what a load of bantha fodder this all is coming from her. He’s never seen her work through her emotions in any way that didn’t involve a blaster. 

“Did Ahsoka ask you to talk to me?” He asks, trying to catch his breath. 

“She didn’t have to.” She feints left before swinging at his right side. 

He blocks it but he’s gonna have a bruise on his arm there tomorrow. He takes a couple steps back, recentering his balance before she can hit him again. “I feel _tired,_ I just told you.”

“Ezra.”

He throws his frustration into it as he lunges at her. The surprise knocks her off balance, and they both go tumbling to the ground. She’s on her feet in a second again and holds out a hand to him. He shakes the sand off his arms and lets her pull him up. “I’m fine Sabine, I’ve _been_ fine.”

“Alright then,” she takes a couple of steps back, getting ready to go at him again. “If you’re so fine why are you afraid to talk to Hera and Zeb?”

“I don’t know!” He can feel frustration building up in his chest, in his head. He’s worn out from Jedi training, worn out from too many sleepless nights in a row, and now worn out from Sabine’s relentless attack. He takes a step away from her, bringing his arms down to his side. 

She doesn’t even give him a second’s break. “Not an answer,” she says, bringing her hand up to go for his head.

He shoves her arm away, forcefully. “Would you just drop it?” he snaps. “I’m sorry you have nothing to do now that you can’t save any more Mandalorians and you finally have to face the fact that most of your people are dead, but I don’t want help from you!” 

He hadn’t even realized he’d been shouting until he stopped. Sabine’s arm falls back down limply to her side. She doesn’t say anything but her face scrunches up in a way it rarely ever does because she rarely ever shows anyone when she’s hurt. 

Kriff.

“Sabine-”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.” He takes a deep breath, stepping towards her. Sabine had always been good at hiding her pain, it was sometimes easy to forget it was there. “I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” He stops, shakes his head, “You know I didn’t mean it at all.”

She shrugs, still not looking at him, “It was my fault Ezra. I shouldn't have pushed you.”

“No, you were right. I’m-I’m still not okay.” 

She finally looks up at him, her eyebrows creasing in concern. “I thought training with Ahsoka was helping you.”

He sighs and walks over to sit on the ground in front of one of the stones, resting his elbows on his knees, “It is, it’s just-I can tell she’s holding back on me.”

Sabine is still for a minute. Then she slowly walks over to sit down next to him, crossing her legs in front of her. “I thought you said you were tired.” There’s a hint of a smile in her voice and Ezra knows he’s forgiven. 

“Oh she’s definitely not holding back on me with the physical training. It’s the mental side of it, she’s always so closed off to me.” He crosses his arms over his knees and rests his chin down on top of them. “She was afraid to train me because the master who taught her turned dark. Do you think she thinks that will happen to me? Or maybe she thinks I can’t handle it because I’m still kind of messed up in the head?”

“You were always kind of messed up in the head.”

He rolls his eyes at her, his mouth twitching into a smile.

“You know what I think? I think you Jedi worry way too much about these things. You and Ahsoka both have too much history to be sorted out over a couple of training sessions. And I think you’re not really worried about what Ahsoka thinks of you, I think you’re worried about someone else.”

He groans and puts his forehead down on his arms, burying his face in them. Of course, leave it to Sabine to hit the mark exactly, to hit it before he even realized it.

“You think I’m scared to see them?” 

“Are you?”

He lifts his head to look at her. “I-It’s been years Sabine, _years_. I am afraid. I’m just not afraid to see them, I’m-” 

“You’re afraid for them to see you.” Sabine’s voice is careful, gentle almost. 

He digs his fingers into the ground, drawing circles in the sand without looking at her. “I’m afraid that I’m not the person they knew anymore. I don’t feel the same.” 

Sabine looks off into the distance at the setting sun, her face thoughtful. “You weren’t afraid for me to see you.” 

“Yeah, but you’ve always been able to see right through me.” 

She looks back at him, studying his face in the way only Sabine can. “Ezra, of course you’re not the same.”

“Um, thanks?” 

Her lips twist into a sad kind of smile, “You’re not the same person you were before you went through the portals. You’re also not the same person you were before we lost Kanan.” Ezra’s heart clenches at that and he puts his head back down on his arms so he doesn’t have to look at her. “You’re not even close to the same person as that bratty kid we picked up on Lothal.” 

“I’m failing to see the point here, Sabine.” 

“The rebellion changed all of us. I’ve changed.” She blinks a couple times, seeming to register the words herself. “But change can be good, Ezra, aren’t you glad you’re not that same kid you were when we met you?” 

“What if I’ve changed for the worse? I feel, I don’t know, weaker now I guess.” 

Sabine reaches out to rest her hand on his shoulder. “I know you _feel_ weaker. But Ezra, after what you survived, you’re stronger than you ever were I can tell you that.” 

He’s quiet for a few moments. “I do miss them. Hera and Zeb and Chop. It’ll be nice to see them again.”

Sabine gives him a small smile, “Yeah, it will be.”

They sit quietly for a while, looking off into the horizon as the sky fades from a clear blue to a golden orange haze.

“Sabine,” he says, pulling them both out of the silence, “I’m really sorry about what happened to the Mandalorians. I wish-I wish I had been there for you.”

She doesn’t answer, just rests her head down on her knees. Ezra thinks he’s never seen her look so sad, and he feels an aching pain in his chest at the sight. 

“It got better when Ahsoka came and found me. She told me what it was like when she lost the Jedi. It helped.” 

He scoots over closer to her so their shoulders are touching. “What you did here, saving all these Mandalorians, it was really brave of you Sabine. I’ve always looked up to you for that.” 

“Thanks Ezra,” she says softly. “You know, I wish Kanan were here. I think I would have understood him better now.” She’s quiet for a moment, before breaking out into a very small, very guilty smile. 

“What is it?” Ezra asks, confused.

“Just now when I was sparring with you, when I was going at you a bit hard-”

“When you were using me as a human punching bag.”

“It’s not my fault if you’re out of practice,” Sabine says, nudging him playfully with her shoulder. “It’s just well, I kind of stole the idea on how to get you to talk from Kanan. When I was fighting him with the darksaber, and he kept provoking me until I admitted my feelings, I feel like it really aligned my physical and mental frustrations. I thought the same might work for you.” 

“Great. Yeah. Sabine, Kanan used that on you because you’re well...you. Look, it worked on me this time, but you know next time just maybe ask me if I want to talk, alright?”

“Alright,” Sabine says, a smile playing on the edges of her lips. She closes her eyes and leans back against the rock, stretching her arms up behind her head.

Ezra leans back with her, watching as the setting sun bathes the grasslands in golden light. 

“You know what,” Sabine says, after a few minutes, “this _is_ nice. Relaxing.”

Ezra smiles and shakes his head at her, “Let’s do it more often.”

* * *

It’s a few days later when Ahsoka barges into his room way too early in the morning. 

“Wake up sleepyhead.”

“Training time already?” he mumbles, squinting and holding his hand over his eyes to block the light coming in.

“Not today. There are people here to see you.”

“To see me?” Ezra frowns. “If it’s Hondo tell him I already told him no, I’m not interested in a puffer pig smuggling-” 

“Come _on.”_ Ahsoka grabs his arm and pulls him out of his bunk. “Get dressed and meet me outside in five minutes."

“Yes, Master,” he grumbles. 

“Not a Jedi, not a Master!” Ahsoka calls as she practically skips back out of his room. He can hear her feet lightly tapping on the metal floor as she makes her way off the ship. 

“What’s gotten her so chipper?” he complains to himself as he pulls a shirt over his head.

He drags his tired feet as he walks down the metal ramp. “Okay what, Ahsoka, what could be so important that you had to wake me up at-”

He stops short as he looks past Ahsoka to see a familiar ship across the grass a short distance away from them. Two figures stand in front of it.

He feels his breath knocked out of him.

Hera and Zeb are standing outside the Ghost. Their smiles as bright as a thousand suns. 

“You called them?” Ezra asks, his voice coming out half strangled. He can’t decide what he feels, there’s terror and doubt, and joy and warmth all bubbling up in his chest all at once. 

“You were ready.” Ahsoka lays a hand gently on his arm. “Go,” she says kindly. 

Joy wins out, as he knows Ahsoka knew it would. He walks over slowly, almost in a daze, but finds he’s running the last few steps to fling himself into Hera’s arms. He stays there for a few moments, just letting himself feel held and safe in a way he hasn’t in a long time. Hera has tears in her eyes as she steps back and looks at him, her hands still holding his arms. “Look at you, you’re...so grown up!”

“Thanks mom,” Ezra teases, but tightens his grip on her elbows, almost staggering under the feeling of _home_.

“You did good, kid.” He feels a familiar hand on his shoulder and pulls away from Hera to look up at-

“Zeb, I-” 

He can’t even get the words out before he’s off his feet and being swung around unceremoniously in Zeb’s arms. “Missed you, Ezra.”

There’s a lump in his throat when he whispers “I missed you too.” Zeb sets him down, and Ezra reaches out to put a hand on both Zeb and Hera’s shoulders. “Both of you.” 

Hera brushes a stray hair out of Ezra’s face, her eyes still shining. “It’s been so long, and Ezra I’m sure you have so much to tell us, but first there’s someone you need to meet." She turns back to the Ghost. “Jacen,” she calls, “can you come here for a minute?” 

Ezra barely has time to breathe before a young boy with bright green hair skips off the ship to Hera, reaching up to grab her hand. 

Ezra stares at the boy, his head spinning.

Sabine had told him of course. Little Jacen Syndulla, son of Kanan and Hera. But nothing could have prepared him to see the small child standing shyly behind his mother, his tuffs of green hair sticking out as he peeks around her back.

He feels his heart swell with emotion. He crouches down in front of Hera. “Hey Jacen, I’m Ezra,” he says, leaning slightly to the side so he can see the boy behind Hera’s legs. 

Jacen looks up at Hera questioningly. 

“Go on,” Hera says, tussling his hair. “He’s part of our family.” 

“Hi!” Jacen says cheerfully, giving Ezra a toothy smile. And in one second Ezra knows he’d go to the edges the galaxy for this boy. 

Jacen steps out from behind Hera and reaches his hand out to Ezra, who takes it grinning, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Jacen.” 

Jacen’s eyes widen suddenly, as he tilts his head to peer behind Ezra. “Is that one yours?” he asks, pointing a hand to Ahsoka’s red and white T-6.

Hera grins and reaches over to scoop Jacen up into her arms. “He’s already an experienced pilot.”

Ezra laughs, and stands back up. “You take after your mother. Kanan would've been so proud of him.” His voice breaks but he can’t remember the last time he’s felt this happy. Hera’s eyes glisten as she beams at him, reaching her free hand out to gently rest her palm on his cheek. 

They’re interrupted by the sound of banging metal and Ezra looks over at the noise to see Chopper rolling off the Ghost towards them at full speed.

“Hey Chop! OW-”

Ezra frowns and grabs his kneecap, where Chopper had hit him with his mechanical arm. Hera smiles fondly at the droid. “He missed you.”

“I can tell,” Ezra says, dryly.

Ahsoka chuckles and he turns around to find her standing behind him. 

“What are you laughing about?” he says moodily, still clutching his bruised knee.

“He reminds me of a different droid I knew.” Ahsoka says, her eyes twinkling. 

He’s about to make a retort when he hears a flutter of footsteps. His shoulder is knocked out of the way as Sabine flings herself at Hera and Zeb. He steps back and lets them have their moment, putting a hand on Chop. “Yeah, yeah I missed you too buddy.”

Chopper beeps happily.

Ezra grins at all of them. For the first time in a long time he feels complete, _whole_. 

“Look at us,” Hera says, pulling Ezra into the group embrace, “the family is all back together.”

As he wraps his arms around Zeb and Sabine, Ezra sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He twists his head to see Ahsoka give the group a smile before turning back round towards her ship. She seems to mean to slip away quietly. Ezra reaches a hand out to grab her only to find that Sabine has beat him to it. Together they both drag her back into the group hug.

She gives one of her rare laughs as four sets of arms embrace her. 

“Like I said,” Hera nods toward Ahsoka, “the family.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I say it every time, but thank you so much for reading and thank you so so much for the kudos/comments! This chapter ended up being a lot shorter than I meant it to be, but I was struggling with working out the next segment of the story and this kind of works better on its own anyway I think. But if you're hoping for some action that's coming up next! 
> 
> (Also not me headcanon-ing Hera from this point on introducing Ahsoka like  
> "Hi yes this is my daughter, Ahsoka Tano."  
> "Hera I'm older than you."  
> "I've adopted you now, no arguments.")


	4. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"All things die, Anakin Skywalker. Even stars burn out" (Matthew Stover, Revenge of the Sith)_

Ahsoka strikes at Ezra with her saber. He swings his up to block it but falters under the immense force of the impact, the heat of the blade pressing close to his cheek. He doesn’t even see her shoto coming from the other side. She stops it just before it hits his neck and steps back, retracting her sabers as she does. He stumbles backwards as the pressure of her saber lifts from his, and she catches his arm before he can fall. “You’re doing well Ezra, but your concentration is still off. You need to focus.” 

“Yes, Master.”

She frowns. “I’m not a Master.” 

“You look like a Master.” 

She releases her grip on his arm. Still off balance, he stumbles and falls to the ground. She crosses her arms and stares at him, her expression amused. “You look like you’re going to get knocked off your feet again if you don’t concentrate.”

He sits up and dusts the sand from his hands. Ezra had thought Kanan met him punch for punch when it came to witty banter, but Ahsoka apparently had a whole arsenal of quips she was hiding this whole time behind her wise Jedi exterior. “What difference does it make? You could knock me off my feet whether I was concentrating or not.”

She gives him a wry look before offering her hand out to him. “Focus, Ezra.” 

He grabs it and lets her help him to his feet. “Alright, alright,” he sighs and moves back into ready position.

She doesn’t move to attack him again, instead just looks at him with her brows creased. “What’s wrong, Ezra?”

“What? Nothing,” he says, taken aback. “I’m fine, healthy as a bordok.” And he was. He'd felt better than he had in weeks, in months. Hera, Zeb, and Chop’s visit had really done a lot to mend him. They’d had to leave after a couple weeks of course, Hera with her duties in building the New Republic, and Zeb in helping lead his people on Lira San, but they’d both promised to return soon. And Ezra had felt, well, _okay_ -good even. The nightmares were coming less and less, the panic attacks almost nonexistent. Ahsoka must be mistaken, he thinks, though that would be a first. “I really am fine,” he says, shaking his head at her.

She clips her sabers back on her belt and gives him one of her penetrating looks. He feels vaguely uncomfortable, though it’s never bothered him before. Almost vulnerable in a way. After a few moments, her forehead creases deepen. “You’re clouded with fear,” she says, her voice strangely careful. “You need to figure out where it’s coming from and put it aside, focus your energy.”

“No, I’m not,” Ezra says, frustration kicking in. “What could I possibly have to be afraid of right now?” 

“Then why are you having trouble focusing?”

He doesn’t have a good reason. He knows she’s right and he doesn’t know why, and he can feel the rising frustration turning slowly into helplessness. The same helplessness he felt when Sabine was questioning him, though Ahsoka’s been nothing but patient this whole time. He can’t make sense of any of it and suddenly he’s angry with her for even bringing it up, for trying to dredge up old pain when he’s _finally_ been doing alright. For one wild moment, he feels the urge to ignite his saber, to swing it at her, as they were when they were training moments ago. 

It’s gone in an instant, shame and horror taking its place. He can feel his hands start to tremble and clenches his fists. He knows that feeling, he _remembers_ that feeling. And he hopes to all the stars in the galaxy that Ahsoka didn’t sense it in him just then. He turns his body away from her, both trying to hide his face and so he doesn’t have to look at her. “Focusing is just something I’ve never really been good at,” he mumbles, and it’s not totally a lie. 

Ahsoka is quiet for a minute and he can feel his heart racing. He still can’t bring himself to look at her. He doesn’t know what he expects, for her to yell at him, to tell him she can no longer train him. 

He hears her move around him, coming to stand in front of him so that he’s forced to look up at her. “It’s not something I’ve been good at either as of late,” is all she quietly says. He takes a sharp breath, he feels like he might start crying all of a sudden and forces it down. 

He feels both of Ahsoka’s hands come to rest gently on his shoulders. “Take a deep breath,” she murmurs. “Center yourself.” 

He does as he’s told, closing his eyes and breathing deeply for a few minutes. 

“Repeat after me,” she says, her hands tightening on his shoulders ever so slightly, “I am one with the force and the force is with me.”

“I am one with the force and the force is with me,” he whispers. 

“Good. With me this time.”

“I am one with the force and the force is with me,” they say in unison, and Ezra can feel both their energy flowing, like water down a stream. It’s the most she’s ever opened up to him. He can feel a sense of serenity wash over both their presences in the force. He follows her guidance as he senses it, allowing his fear to run down the stream away from him. For a second he can feel the focus Ahsoka was asking for, the clear, pristine energy around him, unmuddied by his human emotions. 

The sound of blaster fire to his left snaps him out of it.

“Oh great what now-” he complains, then cuts himself off with a start when he opens his eyes and sees Ahsoka’s horrified expression. 

“Sabine,” she breathes, “Ezra, come with me!”

He follows after her as she starts to sprint back to the base. In the remnants of his connection with Ahsoka he can sense it too, Sabine in danger, Sabine in pain. He feels like he’s been drenched in cold water, panic climbing up his chest, up his throat. 

They follow the sound of blaster fire to the rocky plains just in front of the base. Sabine’s crouching behind one of the stone boulders, her blaster in her hand. More than thirty stormtroopers stand a short distance away across the plains, firing rapidly at Sabine and the base. Ezra and Ahsoka simultaneously ignite their sabers and run across the sands, deflecting the unrelenting blaster fire as they do. They make it to the boulder and crouch down beside Sabine. Ezra feels relief wash over him as he looks at her, no worse for wear than a small wound on her right shoulder.

“Are you alright?” Ahsoka asks quickly, reaching an arm out to grab Sabine’s shoulder, examining the wound. 

“I’m fine,” she says breathlessly, shrugging Ahsoka off. “It’s just a graze.”

The blaster fire seems to pick up at Ezra and Ahsoka’s presence, and Ezra has to yell to be heard over it, “Okay, what’s going on, why are there a bunch of Stormtroopers shooting at us?” 

“How should I know?” Sabine yells back, managing to sound annoyed, while lifting her blaster over the rock with her good arm and firing back at the same time. “We’re not exactly low down on the Empire's list of enemies, I guess the remaining Imperials finally caught up to us.” 

Ezra shakes his head, “There’s not enough of them to waste time hunting down the Empire’s old enemies. If they’re here in that many numbers they must want something.” 

Ahsoka, peeks her head around the rock ever so slightly, seeming to measure up their adversaries, then turns back to Ezra and Sabine, her expression as calm as ever. “Let’s find out,” she says, reigniting her sabers and moving to stand up.

“Oh, I have a bad feeling about this,” Ezra mutters, getting to his feet after her. 

“Hey!” Sabine yells, stretching up so her upper body is exposed above the rock and pointing her blaster at the Stormtroopers. In the same second Ahsoka jumps up and deflects the incoming fire with her sabers, shielding her. The movement is so synchronized that Ezra wonders how much fighting together they must have done when he was gone.

“Didn’t anyone tell you?” Sabine continues, “The war is over, your side lost.”

“That’s a matter of opinion.” The blaster fire stops suddenly as a man steps out behind the troopers, his black cloak billowing in the wind, his expression placid.

“Ahsoka,” Ezra whispers, “who is that?” 

“I don’t know,” she whispers back, her brows creasing in confusion.

“I believe you have some information that I need,” the man continues, his voice as smooth and detached as before.

Sabine and Ahsoka exchange a look.

“And what might that be?” Sabine yells back.

“The location of the Mandalorian, Din Djarin, and the force sensitive child.” 

He hears Sabine take in a sharp breath, and he looks up at her confused. Her eyes narrow ever so slightly. “So you’re Gideon,” she says, barely concealed malice in her voice.

“Who?” Ezra whispers to Ahsoka.

“When we were looking for you, we came across a Mandalorian who was transporting a force sensitive child,” she murmurs, and he sees the grip on her lightsabers tighten almost imperceptibly. “He was on the run from a team of Imperials led by an officer named Gideon,”

“I see you’ve found your little protégé, Ahsoka Tano.” Gideon continues as if Sabine hadn’t spoken, “I heard you were searching the Galaxy for Ezra Bridger. It would be a shame to see both of your lives end here after all your troubles.” 

Ahsoka doesn’t respond, the look she gives Gideon is almost amused and Ezra feels a swell of pride. He knows Gideon revealing everything he knows about them is just an attempt to intimidate. But if he thinks he stands any chance against Ahsoka, then he really knows nothing at all. 

“Give us the information we need,” Gideon says, moving his attention towards Sabine, “Or we’ll blow up this whole base and your little Mandalorian rescue operation ends.” 

“Blow it up,” Sabine says fiercely. “This operation is finished, I’ve relocated all the known Mandalorian clans in the Galaxy.”

“Your decision.” The Stormtroopers close around him, enfolding him back behind them as they erupt into another round of blaster fire. 

But they’re outnumbered, not outmatched. And the team of troopers is no match for two fully powered Jedi and a Mandalorian like Sabine. They move instinctively into a sword and shield maneuver, Ahsoka and Ezra deflecting the fire together, Sabine moving behind them to shoot at the Stormtroopers. She takes down six before the blaster fire halts again. 

Gideon steps out from behind the troopers, his expression imperceptible. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, reaching a hand under his cloak, “give me the information I want and I’ll give you this.” His arm extends towards the sky, in his hand-

“The Darksaber.” Sabine’s voice is stunned. “So you do have it.” 

He brings it back down to his side, caressing the hilt. Behind the calm look in his eyes, Ezra can sense something more calculating. He glances at Ahsoka who nods ever so slightly back at him. He tightens his grip on his saber, getting ready to move at first strike.

“You have no idea how many Mandalorians I killed with this weapon.” The smirk on his lips grows ever so slightly. “Maybe even more Mandalorians than your weapons have killed, Sabine Wren. They do call it the Great Purge for a reason.”

“You were there,” Sabine is breathless, her voice almost numb. “You were there for the purge.” 

“There?” Gideon laughs, and Ezra can feel satisfaction radiating from him though he has no sense of why, they still outmatch him. 

One second later he understands.

“I led it.” 

A noise of pain and rage erupts from Sabine. Before Ezra can even process what’s happening, she lunges out from behind the rock and runs in Gideon’s direction, aiming her blaster at him. His lips curve up into a smile as he raises his own blaster and points it directly at her head.

“Sabine, no!” Ezra yells, not even pausing to think before running out after her. With one hand he deflects the troopers’ fire with his saber and with the other he reaches for Sabine, trying to pull her back to cover.

He sees a split second too late that Gideon’s weapon moves ever so slightly. It’s no longer aiming at Sabine.

It’s aiming at him.

He doesn’t have time to react before he can sense the fire coming at him, and knows by the sheer force of the blaze headed in his direction that Gideon is carrying no normal blaster.

In the split second he has, he shoves Sabine to the ground out of the way. 

In the same split second he feels himself being thrown with the force down beside Sabine. His head rattles as he lands on the ground and through the dust he can see Ahsoka reach her hands up to divert the immense firepower heading towards her. But she doesn’t have enough time.

She throws the majority of the impact away from her, redirecting it towards Gideon and taking down a number of stormtroopers in the process, but it’s not enough. The rest of the impact hits her in the chest, slamming her back into the boulder behind her. The boulder rattles at the force of the impact and bits of stone come flying off towards them. Ahsoka crumples to the ground. 

“No!” Ezra yells, feeling as though his throat might tear. Dread and panic grip his chest, suffocating him, and for a second he’s too rigid with terror to move. It’s only Sabine, who’s already on her feet and in front of him, grabbing Ahsoka under the arms and pulling her back around to the boulder to cover, that snaps him out of it. 

He holds the pieces falling apart inside him together long enough to give Sabine cover as she drags Ahsoka behind the boulder. She’s still, too still and Ezra has to grip the rock to keep himself upright. She looks so small and vulnerable crumpled on the ground at his feet. Sabine has her hands on the wound in Ahsoka’s side, her eyes wide with fear. 

Ezra sees now exactly what Gideon wanted. Because he had no chance of winning with Ahsoka in the picture, she was too powerful, nothing could get past her. 

Nothing except the split second’s distraction of thinking the people she loved were in danger. 

In the end, it seems he did know enough about them. 

“What do we do?” Ezra asks, his hands shaking as he hovers uselessly over Ahsoka, “We can hold them off for a while, but we can’t beat them on our own, not if Gideon’s got that kind of firepower.” 

Sabine freezes for a second, her face scrunched up in panic and concentration. Then she grabs his arm. “Come on! I need you to cover me,” she says yanking him away from the boulder back toward the base.

“But Ahsoka!” he yells over the sound of the blasters, looking back at her still crumpled form on the ground.

“She’ll be fine! If I don’t get what I need we’ll all be dead, come on!” She runs out of the cover of the boulder and Ezra doesn’t even take a second to deliberate, he won’t let her go out there without cover. He breaks into a sprint after her, deflecting the incoming blasters with his saber.

He wants to look back to see if Ahsoka still isn’t moving but he doesn’t.

_Focus, Ezra._

Right. 

They sprint the short distance to the base behind them. Sabine dashes behind a crate and he ducks behind it with her as she starts to dig through it. “What are you looking for?” he asks, looking at the stockpile of weapons. “Shouldn’t we just grab this stuff and get back out there?”

“Be patient,” she hisses, scattering blasters and bombs over the ground as she searches through the crates, ducking to avoid the blaster fire still coming at them as Gideon closes the distance between them. 

“Patient-!” 

She pulls a small metal box out of one of them, “Here!”

“What is that?” 

She doesn’t respond, just grabs his arm with her free hand and pulls, “Hurry, come on!” 

“We’re running _back_ in the direction of the stormtroopers?”

“I need to be close enough.”

Ezra covers her as they run back toward the blaster fire. They make it back to the boulder and kneel down behind it, the stormtroopers nearly on them. Ezra swallows and risks a look at Ahsoka, who’s still unmoving. For a split second, his vision blurs and he’s back on Malachor, guiding a newly blinded Kanan back to the ship, being thrown down away from Ahsoka as Vader moves to strike her down. For a split second, all he can see as he looks at her is Kanan in the flames.

 _Focus_. 

He snaps himself out of it and forces himself to look at Sabine, who’s taking steel pieces out of the box and loading them into her vambrace. 

“Sabine, what are those?”

“Whistling birds. Fenn Rau gave them to me. Said to only use them in emergencies. They’re rare, made out of beskar.”

Ezra looks at the tiny pieces of beskar, hopelessness rising inside his chest. how could something so small possibly stand a chance against an army of stormtroopers?

He hears Gideon’s voice meters away from them. “Kill the Jedi, we only need one of them. I’ll deal with the Mandalorian myself.” 

Sabine closes her hand into a fist and raises her arm above the rock, “Let’s see you deal with these!” 

The steel pieces fly out of the vambrace, becoming barely visible fiery streaks across the air. Before Ezra can even take it in, nine stormtroopers are down, the rest closing in around Gideon to shield him from the birds. 

Sabine advances on them and Ezra jumps over Ahsoka’s body, deflecting the blaster fire coming at her as if his own life depended on it. 

He can see the just barely concealed rage on Gideon’s face as his troopers go down one by one, and the rest retreat. He sees GIdeon’s hand twitch to his own blaster, before seeming to recognize the defeat, turning and running at a sprint back to his tie fighter. Sabine shoots her last whistling bird in his direction. He spins around as it flies towards him, pulling out the darksaber and slicing it in half a second before it hits him, and climbing into the tie fighter.

Sabine watches the tie take off, her eyes burning. Ezra takes in her expression for a second, measuring up Sabine’s state before kneeling down beside Ahsoka, his hands fluttering uselessly around the wound on her left side. Sabine tears her eyes off the sky and kneels down beside him, every inch of her body tense. “We have to get her to my medical tent.”

“Do you think it’s safe to move her?”

Sabine doesn’t respond, and Ezra tries to force down the helplessness threatening to drown him.

 _Focus._ This is what Ahsoka was trying to teach him, to let go of his fear and focus. 

In that moment he can hear the memory of Kanan’s voice, sharp as a knife, cutting through the noise and the rushing in his head. It’s the only thing that keeps him tethered, that keeps him sheltered from the fear threatening to consume him. 

_“Ezra, let go.”_

He closes his eyes and presses his hands against the wound in Ahsoka’s side, focusing all his energy on that singular point. “I am one with the force and the force is with me,” he murmurs, feeling the energy extend from his fingertips away from his own body. “I am one with the force and the force is with me.”

He can feel Sabine’s shock and confusion but puts it aside. 

“I am one with the force and the force is with me.”

“I am one with the force-”

Ezra opens his eyes, stunned. That was Ahsoka’s voice, weak but there. Her eyelids flutter open.

Sabine exhales the breath she’s been holding, her head falling into her hands in relief. 

Ahsoka blinks and looks up at Ezra, her eyes confused. “You’re okay,” she whispers.

“Course I am,” he says breathlessly, feeling almost dizzy at the relief flooding through every part of his body, “somebody has to save your skin.” 

He doesn’t know why she starts laughing all of a sudden, her hands coming up to clutch at the injury on her side as she does. She must have hit her head pretty hard when she fell.

Ahsoka’s lying in the makeshift tent where Sabine keeps her stock of medical supplies, a bacta patch covering a large area of the left side of her body, the rest of her covered in dark bruises. She doesn’t open her eyes when Ezra walks in. 

“You look terrible.”

He sees her lips twitch up ever so slightly. “I’ve had worse.”

He doesn’t doubt that. He sits down on one of the medical supply boxes and waits.

“How’s Sabine?” Ahsoka asks, finally opening her eyes to look at him.

“She’s…coping.” 

“She wants to go after Gideon, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

Ahsoka’s pensive again.

“Well aren’t you going to go tell her revenge is wrong? That she’s going to get hurt?”

“I’ve often wondered whether it wasn’t her fate to wield the Darksaber in the end. Maybe she’s meant to go after him.”

“ _Ahsoka.”_ He can’t think of Sabine putting herself in danger like that, he can’t bear it. 

“But you’re right, she can’t follow him out of revenge. We need to help her wait until she can make the choice to follow him for the right reason.”

“She doesn’t have to go after him at all!” 

“No, she doesn’t. It’s her choice.”

“But?”

“But on our journeys together I sensed her purpose may be greater than either of us can see,” Ahsoka turns her head to look at Ezra, and her eyes are almost apologetic, “and if she truly wants this, we both know Sabine well enough to know nothing we can say will stop her.”

Ezra can’t-won’t think about Sabine leaving right now, about Sabine going off to fight the remnants of the Empire when they’d just found each other again. They had already survived one war, he doesn’t want to think about their odds of facing another. He changes the subject instead.

“Are you in pain Ahsoka?” he asks, moving to sit on the edge of the cot beside her.

“No.”

He grins at the stubbornness in her voice, a tone that reminds him of himself everytime Hera would fuss over him when he was injured. He lays a hand gently on her arm, sending healing energy through the force to her as she had done for him in the days after he’d come out of the world between worlds.

She pulls her arm away. “You don’t have to do that, Ezra.”

He frowns. She might have him beat out when it comes to stubbornness and he knows that’s not an easy accomplishment. “Why? You would do it for me. You have done it for me.”

“Yeah well, I’m the master.” 

“Oh _now_ you wanna be a master.” 

“Ezra, don’t worry about me, I’m fine.”

He suddenly realizes it’s more than his stubbornness that reminds him of himself. He remembers one of the first times he’d been injured on a mission and Hera trying to patch him up afterwards. He had been so reluctant to let her help him. After being on his own for so long it was just natural that he dealt with his problems alone. 

_“I’m fine Hera, I can fix it on my own.”_

_“Yes, but you don’t have to anymore Ezra.”_

His time in the world between worlds often reminded him of his time before his family found him, when he was all alone on Lothal. The difference was that the second time he was alone, he’d had something to hold onto. He knew Sabine, Hera, Zeb, and Chop were waiting for him on the other side. It made it more bearable knowing he had something to come home to. It wasn’t like the first time, when he knew his parents were gone forever, when he didn’t have any hope. Is that what it had been like for Ahsoka, when she’d been alone after she lost everything? 

“You were on your own for a long time weren’t you, Ahsoka.”

Her brows knit together the way they always do when Ezra hits the truth. 

“I was never alone.” Her voice is so quiet he thinks maybe she’s talking to herself more than him. “I had Bail. I had Rex, for some time.” Then she looks at him, “I had your crew for some time. Friends here and there.” 

“But nothing like your family at the Jedi Temple.” 

“Jedi weren’t supposed to have family.”

He doesn’t need to respond to that. He knows they both know that was never quite true for Ahsoka.

He puts his hand back on her arm. She doesn’t pull it away this time. 

He can’t get the image of Ahsoka falling to the ground out of his head. It keeps intertwining with the memory of Kanan in the flames, of his fear of Sabine’s future. There’s a sick swooping feeling in the pit of his stomach, the familiar fear that had always threatened to consume him.

The same fear that had led him to turn to the Sith holocron after Malachor. He’d thought that if he could become strong enough to keep his family from getting hurt, from dying, he would never have to feel that fear again. But Kanan had saved him. He’d reached out to him and pulled him back towards the light. 

_“Ezra_ ,” Kanan had said, holding out his hand to him as the ship went down, “ _let go.”_

Ahsoka had said the same, in the world between worlds. _“I'm asking you to let go.”_

Those words had come to him today for a reason, he realizes. To remind him that he had been able to let go before, and that he’d find the strength to do it again 

“Do you remember when I said that failing our masters would have meant not letting them go?” Ezra asks, startling both of them out of the silence.

Ahsoka glances up at him and he can’t quite make out her expression, “I remember.” 

“It was the final lesson Kanan taught me, and the first one you did. I realize now, that it was a lesson he’d been trying to teach me for a long time. I wonder if Kanan guessed his fate in the end. Or if he was just remembering how it felt when his master died and was trying to prepare me.” He looks away from Ahsoka’s face, down to the injuries on her arm under his hand. “Whatever the reason, he knew it was going to be something I struggled with, didn’t he? Letting go of my fear and anger. Not wanting anyone I loved to get hurt.” 

Ahsoka shifts her hand ever so slightly, turning her palm up to gently grasp Ezra’s arm, “That’s what you’ve been afraid of, haven’t you?”

He looks at her, thinks about Sabine, about the tenuous life they’d all built here. “I guess everything’s just been so, I don’t know _good_ lately. I was so scared of losing it. And look what happened, you got hurt, Sabine got hurt. I just...I don’t know how to stop feeling this fear.” 

“It’s not something you choose not to feel, Ezra. It’s feeling it and making the right choice anyway. What you did in the world between worlds, when you chose to let Kanan go, that was the mark of a true Jedi.”

“Do you think…do you think maybe it would be easier if we just didn’t feel attachment at all? Isn’t that what the Jedi taught, to let go of all attachment? Maybe they were right.” 

Ahsoka looks away from him, her eyes gazing upwards to the roof of the tent above them. “The Jedi were right, but they were out of balance. That’s where they went wrong, Ezra. They became too detached, in their quest to defeat the Sith they became too separate from the people and the galaxy around them. My master was the opposite. He couldn’t let go and it destroyed him.” She pauses, her expression lost in thought. Then says quietly, “Even stars burn out.”

“What?”

“It’s something Anakin said to me once. I think the thought scared him.” 

“Even stars burn out,” Ezra repeats quietly.

“But I think it’s more of a comfort.” Ahsoka looks back up at the windows of black night sky that are visible through the tiny gaps in the fabric of the tent. “Yes, even the stars will die one day. It’s a circle we’re all part of. The Jedi way is to detach ourselves from these fears. To live, we must accept that we will suffer loss. But there’s another part the Jedi don’t talk about.” She reaches a hand upwards and with the force, gently pushes the loose canopy above them ever so slightly to the side, revealing the vast expanse of stars that stretches across the night sky, each a beacon of light in the darkness. “It’s looking up at the stars at night and loving them anyway. They’re here giving us light now and that matters.”

“For a long time,” she continues, “I thought that attachment was a bad thing. That it led to fear, to anger and hate. To the dark side. And for a while I refused to let myself get attached to anything or anyone. It wasn’t until I saw your family and the little home Kanan had made for himself, that I began to think perhaps I was wrong.”

Ezra looks up at the stars, his throat tight. “But look at what happened today. Gideon used our fears to his advantage, to try to hurt us. That’s how the dark side wins.”

Ahsoka sits up, wincing as she does. Ezra thinks he should tell her to lie back down before deciding that’s probably a losing battle. 

“That’s also how the dark side _lost_. When we choose love over fear, over loss and pain.”

“What do you mean?” Ezra asks, bewildered. 

There’s something in Ahsoka’s expression, something he’s never seen before. Something that he can’t even quite make out. It’s something deep and keenly painful and hopeful at the same time. She looks like she can’t speak for a minute, then- “I felt it in the force. When Anakin turned to the dark. But I felt it again when he turned back. I felt his light before he died. I don’t know what exactly happened, but there was a moment where he made a choice, a choice that turned the tides of the war, that flooded the force with light and balance again. And that choice came from love.” 

She breaks off then and Ezra knows she can’t continue. But she doesn’t have to. He understands. He reaches out an arm and puts it carefully around her shoulders, trying to avoid her injuries. 

After a few moments, she collects herself, looking down at Ezra with a warmth in her eyes. “I see him in you, Ezra. I see what Anakin Skywalker should have been. You worry your attachments make you weak and vulnerable to the dark. The Jedi might have said the same. And it’s true that sometimes attachment _can_ lead to fear and anger and hate. But your tragedies in life offered you a path time and time again to the dark, yet at every opportunity you chose not to take it, why?”

“I…” Ezra trails off, deep in thought. He thinks about how Kanan came back for him when he’d been lost to the sith holocron. When he chose to take Kanan’s hand and come back himself, choosing to let go of the fear and power, and reach for the love Kanan was offering instead. He thinks about when he chose not to save Kanan in the world between worlds, because he loved Kanan enough to honor the sacrifice he made, even if it meant he’d never be with Ezra again. To when the Emperor offered him a path back to his parents and he’d chosen to let them go too. Because their love had given him the courage to be brave like they had been. He thinks about Hera loving him enough to want to stop him from leaving, and Sabine loving him enough to let him go, and that love from both of them giving him the strength he needed to do what was right. How the love of his family changed him from someone who only lived for himself to someone who helped people simply because they needed help.

He thinks about the love he has for Ahsoka. And how even now, he refuses to give in to the darkness because he doesn’t want to let her down, because they’d promised they’d be there for each other now. 

“That’s what we have that the dark side doesn’t, isn’t it? It’s what gives us our strength. Our love for other people and their love for us.”

Ahsoka’s eyes are filled with pride and understanding and hope all at the same time. “Yes, Ezra. It took me a long time to realize it but I do believe that’s what saves us in the end. In our lives we will feel great loss and pain and fear, but also great joy and happiness and love. It’s the balance between the two that is life. For you, that balance comes with not allowing your fear to prevent you from letting go.” She hesitates then continues, with a small, apologetic smile on her lips, “For me, that balance is in not letting fear keep me from holding on. I know I’ve been distant Ezra, detached, but I’m not going to do that anymore. I think it’s time we find that balance together.”

He can feel her words register in him, a sort of peace settling around him that has that same clear, unafraid energy he felt when they were meditating together earlier. Balance.

She smiles at him, recognizing his shift in energy in the force. He senses her presence reach out to him, like two rivers from different mountains coming to meet together at the bottom before they flow out to the sea. 

She settles back down on the cot, a twinge of pain on her face as she does but less so than before. “I think you’ve found your focus, Ezra,” she says, her eyes slowly closing as the lines of pain smooth from her face.

Oh he really, really hopes he’s not poking the sand bear with this one, but she set herself up for it too well. “Thank you, Master,” he says, trying to keep his face as straight as possible.

Ahsoka's eyes shoot open in surprise and Ezra forces himself not to laugh. The hard look she gives him melts away after a moment, as her lips twitch up into a begrudging smile and she rolls her eyes at him. It somehow makes her look years younger, like a heavy weight has lifted a bit off her shoulders.

“Alright, my Padawan.”

“I think I'm a little old to be a Padawan.”

“Hey, this was your idea.”

He does laugh then, and it feels a little bit like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders too. “Well you do fit the wise, cryptic, many years of experience on your shoulders, Jedi Master type. Like Master Yoda.” 

“Oh don’t make _me_ feel old, Ezra.”

Ezra grins, “So I guess you’re going to be out of commission for a few days? Does that mean I get a break from training?”

Ahsoka puts her hand to her chin, in a mock pensive gesture, “Let me consult my wise old Jedi mind. Yes, it’s telling me that you’ll need to train twice as hard to make up for the fact that I can’t train with you.”

Ezra groans.

* * *

“Wow.” Ezra runs his hand over the life sized painting of his family. “Sabine this is incredible!”

“I wanted us memorialized,” Sabine shrugs. “Who knows what stories they might tell of this time hundreds of years from now, I don’t expect anyone will remember our names. But I wanted proof that this little family existed, that together we fought to help people, at least for a little while. 

Ezra steps back and gazes at the whole painting. It’s almost like looking at a memory, a moment in time coming alive before his eyes. “Yeah we did, didn’t we,” he says, his chest tight with emotion.

“This is where I found Sabine,” Ahsoka smiles as she reaches a hand out to touch one of the white loth wolves in the painting. “This is where we set off to come find you.”

Ezra’s gaze moves to Kanan, standing tall and strong in Sabine’s art. His white eyes, though frozen in time in the painting, still somehow look as kind as they did in real life. He reaches a hand up to rest his fingers lightly on Kanan’s face.

He wonders what his life would be like if Kanan and his family had never found him. Would he still be here on Lothal, just a different person? The type of person who was only in it for himself, who was just fighting day by day to survive and didn’t care about what happened to the rest of the Galaxy?

Would he still be able to wield the force, or would that connection have died without Kanan’s training? Or maybe twisted into something darker, something he’d have no context for understanding?

He’d been so lucky that his family had found him that day on Lothal, all those years ago. Though Kanan would have said luck had nothing to do with it. And Ezra had seen enough of the force and the Galaxy to know that maybe something bigger _was_ drawing them together. Still, it had been a choice, hadn’t it? A choice he had made to do the right thing and risk his life to warn them about the trap on that Imperial ship the day that he met them. A choice they had made to come back and rescue him from the ship. 

It was Kanan, who had given Ezra the choice to stay lonely on Lothal or to come with him, to become a Jedi. 

Ahsoka had said that it was what you choose to do that matters, more than anything. 

But were there others out there, alone and afraid like he had been all those years ago, who never got to have someone like Kanan extend a hand to them? There were so few Jedi left in the Galaxy, yet so many force sensitive children out there who had no one to guide them. 

He thinks about Sabine, whose people were decimated. How she had made the choice to help them start again, to rebuild. 

It occurs to him so suddenly he wonders why he never thought of it before. “Maybe we could teach more than just me,” he says out loud, his voice echoing off the walls.

“What do you mean?” Sabine asks, confused, turning away from the painting to look at him. 

“You’ve been thinking of it too haven’t you, Ahsoka?”

Ahsoka crosses her arms over one another, and bows her head in thought. “I’ve been thinking of it for a very long time.” She turns away from them, looking out to where the sun is dipping below the horizon and the fields in the distance below. “When I was on the run, shortly after the Empire had risen to power, I met a young force sensitive named Hedala. I had to leave her behind, though her abilities no doubt put her in danger. But I never forgot about her, or about the other many force sensitive children in the Galaxy that the Empire was hunting. When I emerged from the world between worlds, I knew I had to stay hidden for some time, to avoid fracturing the timelines by changing the circumstances that led you to that place. So I tracked down force users, I ensured they were safe from the Empire. I started with the children we rescued from the Inquisitors and then continued to reach out to whoever I sensed on my travels. But I could only protect them. I couldn’t help them, I couldn’t teach them.”

“You never told me that,” Ezra says, curious. He walks over to her, and looks at her face which is pinched in concentration, in conflict. “Do you still have a list of the children?”

“No,” she says quietly, “It would have been too dangerous to have it on record. But I remember each of them. Their names, their location. I could never forget.” 

“Well, that’s perfect then,” Sabine says from behind them, “You have everything you need, we can set off tomorrow, go find these children.” 

“It’s not that simple, Sabine,” Ahsoka says gently, turning around to face her, “It took the entire Jedi order to seek out force sensitives, to train them. There were hundreds of Masters, there was the Jedi temple on Coruscant-”

“There’s a temple here,” Sabine says, cutting Ahsoka off. “Can’t you just use your Jedi power and lift it up again?”

Ahsoka looks as close to indignant as Ezra has ever seen her and he has to muffle a laugh. “Doesn’t quite work like that Sabine,” he says with a grin, “But we do have a former Mandalorian relocation base. Okay it’s no grand ancient Temple on Coruscant but it’s got the resources we need.” 

“Barely,” Ahsoka emphasizes the word, shaking her head at both of them like they’re crazy. “We’ve got barely anything together. You and I are still living on my ship. Sabine has a few makeshift quarters. And these aren’t Mandalorians we’re training, we need more than weapons. Jedi Padawans need kyber crystals, and we don’t have any of those lying around.”

Ezra instinctively reaches down to grasp his lightsaber, slowly pulling it out and looking at the hilt that conceals his crystal. His crystal that had come to him in the temple on Lothal.

“Well, why _don’t_ we try to raise the temple

Ahsoka sighs deeply and it’s almost funny, Ezra’s never seen her this annoyed.

“Wait, hear me out Ahsoka.” he says, holding a hand out in surrender before she completely loses it. She crosses her arms and raises a brow at him. “Can’t you feel it? The way the force has always been guiding us back to Lothal? I thought it was just because it was my home, but think of everything that’s happened here. This is where I first entered the world between worlds, when I pulled you through the portal. And we fought so hard to liberate Lothal. Sabine,” he says turning towards her, “You set up your base here, you protected this place for all these years, why?”

“I-” Sabine stops, frowns at him, “You think some mystical power was telling me to protect this place because one day in the future you would use it to rebuild the Jedi order?” 

“What do you think?”

“Look I don’t know much about this force stuff, but I’m starting to side with Ahsoka here, I think you need to get your head back on straight. Ezra, I was always protecting Lothal for _you_. 

Ezra laughs suddenly and Sabine and Ahsoka exchange a look, the ‘Ezra’s saying things and should we be concerned about it?’ look. He rushes to explain himself before they can think he’s totally lost his sanity. “I was just remembering something. A long time ago, when I first came to the temple, I asked Kanan if we should use it as a base. It’s funny to think that was the path we would end up taking.”

Ahsoka shakes her head at him and walks off toward the opening of the cavern, gazing back out into the distance.

“You think I’m wrong?” he calls after her.

“No,” she says, her voice quiet. She keeps her back turned to them, “I think you’re right, I think the temple may have disappeared in wait for us to resurrect it from the ground. I think our fates have always circled around Lothal for a reason. And I think,” she sighs, a resigned sound, “I’m fighting the idea so strongly not because it’s crazy, though it certainly is, but because I think it may work.”

“That’s how I feel about all of Ezra’s ideas,” Sabine says, and Ezra elbows her lightly in the arm. 

“You’re hesitant, I understand,” Ezra says, walking over to her. “But I think you do want to do this, you’re just afraid to.”

“I am,” Ahsoka says quietly. “I promised I would try to find some balance in my fears but Ezra, there are only two of us. And one of us is only-only a part timer,” Ahsoka grimaces as she uses Maul’s words from years ago. “I don’t know how we could possibly carry on such a legacy. If we had others, if Obi Wan was still alive maybe…If…”

She doesn’t have to say it. If Anakin, if Kanan.

Ezra sighs and follows Ahsoka’s gaze out to the velvety sky that’s slowly fading to a deep purple-grey as dusk settles in. It’s true, the two of them could never be enough to pass on the entirety of the Jedi teachings and history, to rebuild the entire Jedi Order as it was. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe they’re not supposed to be able to rebuild it as it was. Hadn’t that been what Ahsoka had told him? The Jedi had been out of balance, not wrong, not bad, just out of balance. Kanan hadn’t been a traditional teacher, neither had Ahsoka. And Ezra was all the better for it. He knows now, that the love he was allowed to feel for others had made him stronger, having a family had made him a good Jedi. The Galaxy was entering a new age, Ezra could feel it. Maybe they were meant to change along with it. 

“We don’t have to carry on a legacy, Ahsoka, maybe we can just be something new. Maybe that’s what the Galaxy needs right now-something new.” 

He can sense her resolve shift at his words, yet the hesitation hasn’t completely disappeared. She pulls her white cloak around herself, gripping the edges like it’s all she has to hold onto. She bows her head in thought.

Finally she speaks, and Ezra knows it’s her last defense, “I agreed to teach you Ezra, because you already had a good teacher before me. To teach a whole new generation of Jedi is different. I told you, I’ve been nothing but a soldier my whole life.”

“You know that’s not true Ahsoka,” he says quietly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“He’s right, I’ve seen it.” Sabine says, walking up to stand on Ahsoka’s other side. “You’re not just a soldier, Ahsoka, you help people. You see people who need help and you help them, it’s what you do.” Sabine looks off at the horizon with them, at the twin moons that are starting to rise. Her shoulders set in a way that they always do when she makes a decision. “And it’s not just you, I’ll stay and help too. Gideon’s had the darksaber all this time, he can wait a little longer. I know I’m not meant to go after him just yet, not out of revenge.”

Ezra looks at Sabine in surprise and she gives him a small half smile which he returns. “Thank you, Sabine. When you are ready to go after him, you know I’ll follow you anywhere.”

She nods at him, her eyes grateful, before looking back at Ahsoka. “And Hera and Zeb and Chop, they’ll be here for us. We can do this together.”

Ahsoka sighs and lifts the white hood of the cloak from her head. “Yes,” she says slowly, “perhaps together we can.” She smiles tentatively at them and Ezra knows she’s given in. 

“Wow,” Ezra says, the daunting enormity of what they’re about to do finally sinking in, “I never thought of myself as a teacher either. You know what’s weird, I’m only a few years younger than Kanan was when he first started teaching me. He seemed so much older, so much wiser.”

“Part of growing older is realizing that even the wise don’t always know what they’re doing,” Ahsoka says wryly. She looks to the distance in the direction of Sabine’s base and the hidden Jedi Temple. A convor circles above them, it’s white wings lit up in the darkness by the light of the moons. “Well Lothal certainly isn’t Coruscant, but it’s new. It’s just what we need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This is gonna be a long note, sorry!) I wrote this draft for this chapters before the Ahsoka Mandalorian episode came out so it’s doesn’t quite perfectly fit with what we learned in canon, but let’s just pretend that Sabine was on Ahsoka’s ship and there was a whole offscreen talk between Din and Sabine where he told her Gideon had the darksaber. (As much as I love queen and icon Bo-Katan, part of me is still hoping for Sabine as Mand'alor!!) Also fair warning, the darksaber storyline may not go anywhere in this fic, I kind of want to focus on Ezra and Ahsoka’s arc and give Sabine the full attention she deserves in a sequel fic once I’m done with this one but we’ll see! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos you guys are really keeping me motivated to keep writing!! <3
> 
> Also can I just….
> 
> Ezra grins, “So I guess you’re going to be out of commission for a few days? Does that mean I get a break from training?”
> 
> Ahsoka puts her hand to her chin, “Actually I have a better idea.”
> 
> The next day:
> 
> *Ahsoka clinging to Ezra’s back*: now run run run JUMP I can be a backpack while you run  
> (that song continues to live rent free in my head at all times I’m so sorry)


	5. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"So hopeful that her Jedi friend would come for her. I had to tell her that Jedi don’t have friends. Jedi don’t have attachments of any kind. They’re heartless and cold and don’t even understand what love is."_
> 
> _"I don’t know who taught you about the Jedi," Ahsoka said. "But they seem to have left out a few things. You should ask for better lessons."_
> 
> _― E.K. Johnston, Ahsoka_

_Kanan walked down the dimly lit hallway of the Ghost, his mind troubled. It wasn't just his mind either. He could sense the disturbance in the space around him, in the energy emanating from every living thing on the ship._

_But mostly from Ahsoka Tano._

_He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be surrounded by the presence of someone as tied to the force as he was. He’d been raised in the company of hundreds of force sensitive beings. There was a familiar comfort in reaching out into the vastness of the force and feeling like there were hands there in the darkness to catch you._

_Until all of a sudden it was all ripped away. Then reaching out into the force had felt more like free falling._

_Ezra had brought a bit of that connection back to him, but having another Jedi on the ship, a powerful force user like Ahsoka, it reminded him of what it had been like in the temple, surrounded by hundreds of Masters and their combined light in the force. But that familiar comfort also brought a remembrance of how it felt to be surrounded by force users when darkness clouded the force. The perpetual stirrings from those around him that something wasn’t quite right. He’d felt that a lot towards the end of the Clone Wars. He’d sensed that unease coming endlessly from Depa in those final days,_

_He sensed it coming from Ahsoka now, as if a dark shadow was hanging over both of them._

_He made his way to the cockpit, where he knew she’d be. She was sitting in the passenger seat, looking out the window at the stars. One of her hands was pressed against her temple, as if she was in pain. He recognized the gesture. He stood by the door for a minute wondering if maybe he should just go back to sleep, after all she hadn’t asked for his company or his help, when she dropped her hand slowly from her head. “It’s alright, Kanan, you can join me,” she said in a quiet voice._

_He hesitated before taking a seat in Hera’s usual spot. He looked at her, then back out the window, then back to her again, completely at a loss for what to say. Should he tell her how grateful he was to learn he wasn’t the only one? Ask her how she survived?_

_She seemed to sense his unease. She turned her body to face him, giving him a small smile before saying, “You’ve been gracious enough to lend me your room tonight and I’m not making much use of it.”_

_“Oh, don’t worry,” he replied quickly, thankful she had broken the silence first, “ I’m used to sharing with Hera.”_

_It took him a moment to realize what he’d said. He felt his face grow suddenly hot and he crossed his arms uncomfortably, turning his head away from Ahsoka to look back out the window, but not before he saw the small knowing smile cross her face. He cleared his throat, “Anyway, we’ll be at the Phoenix Cell’s new coordinates in the morning.”_

_“That’s good.” she said, turning in the chair to look back out the window as well. “We’ve taken heavy damage, but nothing we can’t recover from.”_

_There was a silence between them and this time he couldn’t help the curiosity pressing on his mind. “What happened to you today, Ahsoka?”_

_She didn’t answer but it wasn’t a reproach. He almost got the sense that maybe she couldn’t say anything, the way she stared at the empty space in front of her, her expression unsettled._

_Ahsoka Tano. He knew she was powerful, even back when they were both in the Jedi Order. The other Padawans used to talk about her in excited whispers, the battles she’d won, the foes she’d beaten. Even Master Billaba had mentioned her a few times, usually after one of the more unconventional battle strategies of the 501st had ended badly (though always successfully),_ “Tsk, Skywalker and Tano, what a pair those two make. I do not envy Obi-Wan at all.”

_She’d been with the rebellion a long time (and there was no small amount of shame when he thought about that fact, it had taken him much longer to find his way). Maybe she’d come across the Sith Lord before. He wondered what he could possibly have done to Ahsoka that could explain the level of fear she felt today. It had been enough to terrify him and he’d only been experiencing it second hand._

_Maybe he’d hurt her. Or killed someone she loved._

_Whatever it was, it was enough to make a Jedi like Ahsoka Tano afraid and that was no small task. He didn’t want to push her. Instead he reached out with the force, not probing, just offering whatever simple comfort his presence might bring. She looked up, surprised, before her face softened fractionally. “Thank you, Kanan,” she murmured._

_He crossed his arms and leaned back into the chair, “I know people think you’re invincible, but I also know how hard it must have been for you all these years.” He paused, then, “I know how hard it was for me.”_

_Ahsoka inclined her head at him, her face kind. “You’ve done well, Kanan. You worry about the path you’re on. You shouldn’t.”_

_Another thing he had forgotten. What it was like to have another Jedi read you like an open book. Not that he minded, though. One of the things Kanan had come to realize over the years was how much he’d take it all, the good and the bad, just to have the Jedi back again._

_“Do you miss it?” he asked her, as he fiddled absentmindedly with the ship’s controls. “The temple, Coruscant, the Order?”_

_She didn’t reply again, and he felt his hand drop down to his lap. She acted so much like a Jedi it was almost easy to forget she had given up that life. “Sorry, I guess it’s not the same for you.” He meant for the statement to be an acknowledgement of her chosen path, instead the tiniest flash of hurt crossed her face at his words. “No,” he added quickly, “I didn’t mean-”_

_“I know what you meant Kanan,” she smiled gently at him though it seemed tired. “It’s alright. I’ve just been thinking a lot of the past recently I suppose.”_

_He could understand that. “You know, I thought I left that whole life behind too. Then Ezra came along.”_

_“He’s very fond of you.”_

_Her words hit him strangely. He’d never really thought about it before. He shook his head at her, “Ezra’s like that to everyone, I keep telling the kid he’s too friendly. He needs to learn to be more cautious with people.”_

_“You can’t even see it clearly, can you?” Ahsoka laughed gently, “Clouded by your emotions, Master Yoda might have said.”_

_He laughed too. It was nice, he’d never had anyone to reminisce with. His thoughts lingered on her words. There was a feeling of warmth growing in his chest, but an almost imperceptible fear too. The always present fear that he might fail Ezra. He could feel his throat closing up and turned his face away from Ahsoka. “If all I do is train Ezra to be the best Jedi he can be, then I’ll have done my job.”_

_“You don’t see how much you’ve already done that by example. Ezra has already become a gifted and compassionate Jedi simply by watching you.”_

_Her tone was so genuine that even Kanan in all his self doubt and fear couldn’t bring himself to dispute it. He felt like a bit of a weight had been lifted off him. He’d missed that too. The wisdom that better Jedi than him could bring. For so long he felt like he’d been moving through life blind, without that wisdom to guide him._

_He wondered where Ahsoka would be off to in the morning, on her own again he supposed. He’d been alone for so long. Everything had changed when he’d found Hera. And when Sabine, Zeb, and then Ezra had come along, he suddenly found he’d had a family again. He wondered if Ahsoka had had anything like that these past few years. Something told him probably not. “You know you could stay with us. You don’t have to be alone.”_

_Her eyes widened fractionally in surprise, before settling into something else, something sad, yet not entirely unhappy. Something accepting. “In the first year after the purge I learned just how dangerous my presence could be. And perhaps now it is even more dangerous than I realized.”_

_He didn’t understand the last part, but she’d said it so quietly, almost to herself that he thought maybe he wasn’t meant to. But he could understand wanting to stay away to keep others safe. For a while he’d been afraid to even use the force. Taking in Ezra had forced him to confront all those fears, had made him a better Jedi than he would have been on his own. “I thought staying on my own was better at first too, but we’re stronger together.”_

_“I know.”_

_There was something resigned about her tone that made him stop pressing. “Well you always have a home here with us, if you want it.”_

_She bowed her head, a small smile crossing her face. “I’d like that someday, when things are different.”_

_“Yeah, someday.” It was hard to keep the bitterness out of his words._

_Her eyes were understanding when she said, “You doubt there’s something on the other side of this?”_

_Kanan didn’t have a reply. “Hope is dangerous.”_

_Ahsoka didn’t respond for a few minutes. When she finally looked at him, there was something new in her expression, something like a dawning realization. “The boy….he gives you hope.”_

_It wasn’t a question. Kanan opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, his throat tight. “He makes me remember what I’m fighting for.”_

***

“Okay, I guess we’re doing this,” Ezra says, looking at the blank patch of ground where the temple used to stand. He’s admittedly not sure how this is going to work. The longer he stares at it, the more it’s starting to seem like the idea was better in theory. 

Well, too late to change his mind now. He holds a hand out in front of him and closes his eyes like he did the last time he raised the temple with Kanan. 

Nothing happens. 

He opens his eyes. It takes him a second to realize something feels off, something’s missing. He turns and looks behind him to where Ahsoka is standing. She hasn’t moved, or raised a hand, or even looks remotely like she’s trying to concentrate. He knows she’s powerful but he thinks raising the temple should take just a tiny bit of effort, shouldn’t it? 

“Ahsoka?”

“What?” She blinks at him, as if he’d startled her out of her thoughts.

“It...it needs two.” 

She folds her arms across her body, giving him a measured look. “You know I can’t. I’m not a Jedi.”

“Well, I can’t open it by myself.”

She doesn’t reply, just stares at the patch of ground in front of them, a small frown on her face.

Ezra sighs. “Ahsoka I get it, the whole ‘I’m not a Jedi thing’. But can you please just this once, I don’t know, pretend to be or something?”

She arches a brow at him. He knows that expression. “Fine,” he mutters. He raises both his hands and concentrates on the space in front of him. The ground shakes briefly, and he can sense the temple, the outline of its energy, taking form in the space around him. 

His mind slips for a half second and he feels it snap like a band away from him. The ground stills. He lets out a growl of frustration and twists his head to look back at Ahsoka, who doesn’t even have the good grace to look chagrined. 

“Ahsoka, I can’t do this alone,” he says, his voice rising slightly with frustration. 

“You’re going to have to.”

“Ahsoka!”

“I’m sorry Ezra.” She turns away from him. Her voice holds the closest thing to anger he’s ever heard from her.

He might have gotten angry right back at a time. If it had been Kanan and he had been younger, he probably would’ve snapped at him. He doesn’t. He takes a deep breath and sets aside his frustration like both his masters taught him to do, shifting his body back towards the temple. Whatever battle Ahsoka is fighting within herself he can’t fight it for her. He focuses all his energy on the task in front of him. 

The temple starts to rise from the ground like it did before, the patch of grass and dirt rumbling and shaking. He closes his eyes and puts his whole presence into it, feeling the energy and strength emanating from his fingertips to the space where the temple should be.

He lifts it halfway from the ground when he can suddenly feel it slip again. His strength falters and it sinks a few inches. He grits his teeth and puts all he has into it. His hands tremble violently as he struggles to not lose the traction he’s gained. 

It’s not enough. It slips another couple inches, then a foot. Once more and he’s going to lose it completely.

All of a sudden, he feels half the weight lifted from his fingers as a surge of strength flows through his body. He gasps but doesn’t spare a second in trying to figure out where it’s coming from. He focuses his newfound strength and raises the rest of the temple from the ground. It settles on the dirt with an ear splitting bang, then stabilizes as the dust floats down around it.

He falls backward to the ground, his hands hitting the dirt, and lets out a gasp, trying to catch his breath. He hears a gentle thud next to him as Ahsoka joins him on the ground. “It’s as incredible as last time,” she says, her voice filled with awe.

“Yeah,” he gasps, then adds wryly, “What made you decide to help?”

Ahsoka looks down and smiles to herself, “I was watching a good example of someone who truly understands what it means to be a Jedi. It made me remember why we’re doing this.”

Ezra rests his elbows on his knees, and gives her a quiet laugh. “So you’ve decided you’re a Jedi after all?”

“No. I could not raise the temple with you, I just gave you the help you needed to do it yourself.”

“That’s kind of cheating isn’t it? Not quite the Jedi way.”

“Exactly.” Ahsoka grins.

* * *

They’re sitting around the table on the Ghost, catching up with Hera. “So how’s Jedi recruitment going?” she asks, after she’s finished telling them about the progress the New Republic’s made with the aid efforts.

Ezra glances at Ahsoka, “We’re still trying to figure that out.”

“Well you got the temple back, that’s a start,” Hera says, looking across the room to where Jacen is putting together a model ship that Ezra had picked up for him on his last trip to Capital City.

Ezra shakes his head, “The temple is useless without students and that’s where we’re stuck.”

“I thought Ahsoka knew of force sensitive children you could find.” 

“The problem is,” Ahsoka says as she fiddles with her saber maintenance kit, scattering tools across the table, “explaining the situation to the families of the children. People haven’t just forgotten the Empire, they’re still wary and rightfully so.” 

Ezra grabs a small screwdriver before it can roll off the table and sets it back down in front of Ahsoka. He doesn’t have to tell her that her sabers are fine, they haven’t seen any real action since Gideon. He’s noticed that it’s just something she does when he can sense some preoccupation in her mind.

“Yes, but the parents must have some idea of their child’s powers right? 

Ezra feels something strange in the force from Ahsoka at Hera’s words and raises his head to glance at her out of the corner of her eye. She’s looking at Jacen, a wry expression on her face. He raises his eyebrows at her but she shakes her head, bringing her attention back to her saber. Ezra turns back to Hera, “I just can’t imagine any parent willingly letting their child go with two strangers, not after everything that’s happened.”

“Parents used to let their children go with strangers. Kanan never knew his own parents, the Jedi were the only family he grew up with. I’m sure the same was true for you, Ahsoka”

Ahsoka makes a noncommittal noise, too focused on the task at hand.

“Yeah,” Ezra replies for her, picking up another loose tool and dropping it back into Ahsoka’s kit, “but that was back when the whole Jedi Order existed. Hera if I came up to you right now and said, ‘hey, I’m a Jedi, your child has force powers and I want to take him with me’, what would you do?”

“Shoot you, probably.” 

“Great,” Ezra mutters, putting his head down on the table in defeat. 

Hera laughs, “Luckily, Jacen seems not to have inherited that particular skill set from his father.”

Ahsoka’s hands freeze and her eyes move over to Jacen again. Ezra’s about to ask her what’s up but then Hera says, “What if you don’t start with a child?”

Ahsoka turns away from Jacen and leans towards Hera, her brow creased. “What do you mean?” 

“It’s not just children who would be needing guidance anymore is it?” Hera shrugs. “There’s been no one to train force sensitive beings throughout the Galaxy for the past thirty years. There must be some older students that you can find.”

Ahsoka sits back, looking mildly stunned at Hera’s proposition. “That’s not how-” she stops, and shakes her head as if thinking hard about something, “without training from a young age, you lose touch with the force. It’s not so simple, and it’s not a trial I would want to test on just anyone.”

A sudden realization strikes Ezra at Ahsoka’s words. He wonders why he didn’t think of it before. “Hedala, how old would she be now?”

Ahsoka looks at him, an understanding dawning on her face, “I’m not sure...a couple years older than you perhaps.”

“Well great, why don’t we ask her if she wants to come learn with us?”

“I don’t know,” Ahsoka says slowly, “It’s been a long time, Ezra.” 

“It doesn’t hurt to just ask,” Hera says with a smile, “It’s not like you’re taking someone young away from their family.” Hera looks over again to Jacen, who’s completed his model ship and is running around the room, flying it through the air in his hand with glee. 

Ahsoka drops her kit where she’s putting the tools back and presses her fingers to her eyes for a moment, as if she’s concentrating hard on something, “I was just thinking about that, about the children too.” She brings her hands away from her face and looks at both of them, “I don’t believe the Jedi were wrong in bringing young children into the temple, there was and still is always a danger in allowing beings who are so strongly connected to the force to develop strong attachments. And protecting the children at the Jedi Temple, surrounding them with many Jedi Masters made sense for the time we were in. But this is a new age, and if Ezra has taught me anything it’s that perhaps the Jedi traditions need to change with it.”

Hera glances at Ezra, something akin to pride on her face. He ducks his head and smiles, as old as he gets he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop appreciating praise from Hera.

“We don’t have the resources to take in children permanently anyway, even with Sabine’s base and the Jedi Temple,” Ahsoka continues. “What if we just train them for a few months out of the year? Then they could make it back home to spend time with their families or for their harvest seasons. If we got enough students we could even have them come in a rotation.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Ezra says, poking Jacen playfully in the stomach as he runs by. Jacen giggles and flies the ship over Ezra’s head before continuing down the hallway of the Ghost, his footsteps making a light patter across the metal floors. “And I still think we should start with Hedala. If teaching her works out, then we can move onto the force sensitive children we rescued from the Inquisitors, since the parents already trust us. 

“Hm,” Ahsoka leans back in her seat, relief crossing her face. “I think this could actually work.”

The floor rattles as Jacens runs back into the room and straight into the table. He falls to the floor, surprise crossing his face before it turns into the expression that Ezra knows means he’s about to burst into tears. But before he does, Ahsoka reaches down and scoops him up in her arms. “Come on,” she says, tapping him gently on the nose, “why don’t I teach you how to fly _my_ ship.” 

Unbridled glee crosses his face and he dives out of Ahsoka’s arms. “Let’s go!” he says, pulling on her hand and leading her out the door.

“Be careful!” Hera calls after them.

Ahsoka just turns around and grins at Hera in response before letting Jacen pull her away. 

Hera groans, “I take it back, Jacen being a pilot is too nerve-wracking for me. I’d rather him have inherited Kanan’s Jedi abilities instead.”

Ezra thinks about the way Ahsoka was looking at Jacen, thinks about the quick reflexes the kid had the last time he saw him helping Hera pilot the Ghost. He grins at Hera too, “I wouldn’t count your mudhorn eggs before they’re hatched.” 

***

Thabeska is quieter than most of the outer rim planets Ezra is used to. The main city is filled with tall buildings, ones that would almost remind him of Lothal’s capital city if not for the sandy, grey tinge that veiled the entire landscape. Dust blows from the flats east of the city through the wind, stinging his eyes. He raises a hand up to shield his face as they approach a large compound next to a shipyard. Ahsoka pauses as they approach the compound and looks around, her lips pursed.

“What’s up?” he asks, stopping behind her.

She shakes her head, her eyes moving over the shipyard before stopping to rest on to the compound. “I was here a very long time ago, just a year after the Jedi purge. It’s just…”

She trails off. Ezra picks up her thought for her, “It’s strange to be back, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she says with a small smile, before walking up to the entrance of the compound. 

Ezra looks at the large dwelling, at the lavish embellishments that wind their way up the walls and the overgrown garden in the front. “Do you think she still lives here?”

“I’m not sure,” Ahsoka replies as they approach the wide wooden doors, “But in any case, her uncle will be able to point us in the right direction to find her.” She reaches a hand up and pauses before knocking on the door.

After a few moments, it opens a crack. Ezra can see an aged man with brown skin and tuffs of white hair peeking out from behind it. “Yes, can I help you?” the man asks, looking wary but polite.

Ahsoka looks down to Ezra uncertainly, then back to the man. “Hello Fardi. I don’t know if you will remember me. But I’m-”

“Ashla,” the man gasps and suddenly pushes open the door wider. “Yes I recognize you now, forgive me it’s been many years and you look so much older. It’s so good to see you again. What-how are you, are you alright?”

Ahsoka inclines her head at him with a smile, “Yes, I’m fine. It’s good to see you again too. And it’s Ahsoka actually, Ahsoka Tano-sorry I had to lie about my identity, you understand. This is Ezra Bridger.” 

“Of course. It’s nice to meet you Ezra,” he extends an arm out to shake Ezra’s hand. “Won’t you both come in?” He steps back and gestures for them to enter. Ahsoka steps over the threshold and Ezra follows behind her. As they enter the living room, Ezra sees Ahsoka looking around in wonder. 

“Not much has changed,” Fardi says, also looking at Ahsoka’s expression, “though it feels like everything has doesn’t it? Have a seat, can I get you something to eat? To drink?”

“We’re fine, thank you,” Ahsoka replies, as they sit down on the small velvet couch. 

Fardi settles down into the armchair across from them. He looks at Ahsoka, his face curious. “What can I do for you, Ahsoka Tano?” 

“Fardi....does Hedala still live here?”

“Why, yes.” Fardi says, his brows pulling together in concern, “It’s custom in our culture to live with the family until starting a family of your own. Though her mother passed a few years back, she and two of my youngest are still here. She’s off with her cousins at the market, why is she in danger, what’s happened?”

“No, no it’s nothing like that,” Ahsoka says quickly. 

Fardi looks relieved, “Then what is it?”

There’s a silence and Ezra glances up at Ahsoka. He can feel the uncertainty radiating off her. “Fardi, when I was younger. I knew I had certain abilities, a certain connection. I didn’t know what it was or where it came from, but then I found a great teacher and he showed me how to use these abilities to help others. He taught me how to be a Jedi, like Ahsoka.”

“A Jedi,” Fardi says, looking mildly stunned. “Of course I knew, with your warning, with what I could see Hedala do. Yet to hear the word spoken aloud...I did truly believe all the Jedi were gone.” 

“Not all of us.” Ahsoka says quietly. “And I’ll never forget the kindness you showed me, I’d like to repay that kindness to your family but only if it’s something that you and Hedala wish.”

“What do you mean?”

Just then Ezra hears a clamor of noise and giggles coming from the front door. A few moments later, three young women about his age enter the room. They stop when they see Ahsoka and Ezra.

“My girls,” Fardi says with a smile, beckoning them in, “we have some visitors, I wonder if you will recognize. This is Ashla, remember? Though her true name is Ahsoka Tano.”

Two of the women look at Ahsoka in confusion, though the one in the middle, who Ezra thinks looks like the youngest out of the three, stares at Ahsoka, a slight recognition dawning on her face. 

Ahsoka gives them a tentative smile, “I remember you three, though I’m sure it would have been too long ago for you to remember me. It has been many years.”

The middle one suddenly steps forward. “I remember you,” she says in a quiet voice. “How could I ever have forgotten you Ashl-Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka’s eyes widen slightly before she breaks out into a warm smile, “It’s good to see you again Hedala.” 

Fardi looks from Ahsoka to Hedala. “Girls,” he says gently, “would you please leave Hedala to speak with us for a few minutes.”

The other two throw a confused glance at all of them but promptly leave the room. Hedala pulls her eyes away from Ahsoka and moves to sit in one of the other small armchairs across the table. 

“Hedala, I believe Ahsoka would like to ask you something?” Fardi says, his eyebrows raised at Ahsoka. Heldala looks at Ahsoka expectantly, perking up in her chair in curiosity. 

Ahsoka looks at Ezra again before speaking. “Hedala, Ezra and I, we can teach you to develop your abilities, to connect more strongly with the force.” Ahsoka pauses, her face unsure before continuing, “We can train you to become a Jedi.” Hedala doesn’t respond for a minute. Her eyes are wide as she looks from Ahsoka to Ezra, then back to Fardi. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Fardi leans forward in his chair towards his niece, he looks at Ahsoka as if asking for permission and she nods at him. “I know you were too young to remember it, but there was a time when there were many Jedi in the Galaxy. Though I did not understand much of their ways either, I know that they helped protect us. I know they could do many unexplainable, but wonderful things, things I have seen you, yourself do. I know that when Ahsoka was with us she was still using her abilities to help people, even though it meant putting herself in grave danger from the Empire.”

Hedala looks back to Ahsoka, her eyes still wide. “I have heard of the Jedi. I thought they were just a story,” she says softly, in wonder. “You are one of these Jedi?”

Ahsoka opens her mouth but Ezra cuts her off before she can speak, “Yes,” he says firmly, “we both are.” 

Ahsoka pauses at his comment before he can tell she decides to let it slide, and he suppresses a grin. “Hedala,” she continues, “I don’t know if you remember but you had a connection to the force when you were younger. Perhaps you remember being able to move objects without meaning to, or sensing the feelings of others close to you. The force manifests itself in different ways for different people. You may still have that connection now. Ezra and I can teach you to use this power.”

Hedala looks overwhelmed and Fardi interjects, “How do you mean teach?”

Ahsoka nods at him. “I’m afraid I’m getting ahead of myself. Back before the end of the Clone Wars, before Chancellor Palpatine killed most of the Jedi in the Galaxy, young force sensitives were trained at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Of course, the temple there was destroyed and most of its teachers lost. But Ezra and I have revived an ancient Jedi temple on the planet Lothal. We have the resources there to bring force sensitives in, now that they are no longer in danger from the Empire. If that is something Hedala would like to learn.”

“Yes,” Fardi sits back in his chair, shaking his head in amazement, “I had heard of the temple, where Jedi were trained, though it seems so long ago now. I admit, it would be an honor to have a member of my family learn such ways, but this is not my decision.” He inclines his head at Hedala, “What do you think of all this?”

Hedala sits quietly, her hands moving nervously in her lap. After a few moments she looks up and says, “ There have been...moments, times when I have done things I cannot explain, felt things I could not understand. It was upsetting to not understand what was happening. I have always felt different, and now here you are telling me why, telling me that there is a place I could belong.”

Fardi looks at Hedala, his brows creasing in what Ezra knows is both love and sadness. “I’ve had to help you hide your powers all these years, to bury them, and I am sorry for that. I was trying to protect you the best I knew how. But now you have an opportunity to get the teaching you deserve, the teaching that no one but these two can give to you.” He stops, takes a sharp inhale, before looking at Ahsoka, his shoulders set, “I admit, it has become quite lonely here, with my daughters and nieces leaving to live their lives. Hedala and my other two girls are all I have left and I am quite old now. But if she would like to go with you, if this is what she wants, then you have my blessing to take her away.”

Hedala looks at her uncle, a keen sadness crossing her face. 

“No,” Ahsoka says quickly and firmly. “Hedala we aren’t asking you to leave your family. You would join us for a few weeks, perhaps a couple months at a time, and then return to live here or wherever you choose in between training sessions.”

Fardi shakes his head in confusion. “It was my understanding that the Jedi brought the children to live permanently at the temple, did they not? And though my niece is no longer a child, I imagine she must need the same training.”

“They did,” Ahsoka says carefully, “and she does. But the galaxy has changed, and the same does not hold true today.” Ahsoka stands up and walks over to where Hedala is sitting. She kneels down beside her and though Hedala’s face looks afraid, even Ezra can feel a sense of joy starting to blossom in the force from her. 

“This is, of course, your decision Hedala. You don’t have to come with us. You are no longer in danger from the Empire, and if you do not wish to be trained, no harm will come from it.”

Heldala bows her head in thought. Ahsoka doesn’t move, just rests her arm on the chair and patiently waits. Ezra looks at Fardi, who’s looking at Hedala with pride and something else Ezra can sense too, a feeling of relief, of hope. Finally Hedala looks up at Ahsoka. “You can teach me to become a great Jedi like you?” she asks. 

Ahsoka smiles. “We can teach you to become a great Jedi like yourself.”

Heldala smiles back at Ahsoka and her face is radiant. She stands up and runs over to Fardi, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him on the head, “I will be back soon, Uncle.” 

He pats her arm, “I am very proud of you, my Hedala.” 

She stands up and walks back to Ahsoka, stopping in front of her and reaching out to take Ahsoka’s hand. “The shadow is gone,” she says simply. 

And though Ezra doesn’t quite understand what Hedala means, there’s a brilliant kind of joy in Ahsoka’s eyes at the words. “Yes,” she says, taking Hedala’s hand, “the shadow is finally gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read the Ahsoka novel yet I would 1000% recommend, it takes place about a year after rots and describes what Ahsoka did during that time and how she ended up joining the rebellion, it's super great!! Thank you so much to everyone who's left kudos or comments you guys are really giving me the motivation to continue so thank you so much!! The next few chapters may come out a little slower (I'm just a slow writer and I haven't drafted them yet, just outlined haha) but I've already written the ending to this story so I promise I am continuing it with it! Happy New Year and thanks for reading!!


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